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Stupid Pet Peeves

Oy. I was joking.

I actually probably wash my hands at least 6-7x a day. Schools are disgusting. Plus I shower twice a day.
 
Raul Lawler said:
Yes i have android phone
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Raul and Lawler don't strike me as two names that really go together. Are you an undercover Mexican? I understand that it must be inconvenient for you to be a Mexican in the US at tbe moment, with the wall and white peoples stupidity.
 
colton said:
From this column: https://www.straightdope.com/column...supposed-to-wash-their-hands-after-urination/

Dear Cecil:

First, an (elderly) joke.

A Harvard man and a Yale man are at the urinal. They finish and zip up. The Harvard man proceeds to the sink to wash his hands, while the Yale man immediately makes for the exit.

The Harvard man says, "At Hah-vahd they teach us to wash our hands after we urinate."

The Yale man replies, "At Yale they teach us not to piss on our hands."

My question: why is it customary for males to wash their hands after urination? I never do, which shocks and disgusts some of my guy friends. I bathe daily and wear fresh underpants, so how does my penis get dirty? It's not like I dig a ditch with it. However, my hands might get dirty from daily activities. Is it not more sensible then to wash my hands before touching my clean penis? Is posturination hand washing a throwback to the bad old days, when sex was "dirty" and so, by extension, were sex organs? I'm serious about this. Please advise.

Tom Sharpley, Los Angeles

Cecil replies:

Good (if elderly) joke. Common (but stupid) attitude. Rank (but important) topic. Some facts: The purpose of washing is not to get pee off your hands. No amount of washing will make you clean. You have to do it anyway.

I’ve said this before: your boxer-shorts region — from belly button to mid-thigh — is crawling with germs known as coliform bacteria. These bacteria originated in your intestine, and some of them are deadly. Remember punji stakes? They were sharpened sticks that the Vietcong concealed point up along trails and daubed with excrement. If you stepped on one you had a good chance of contracting a fatal infection. Similarly, an otherwise not-so-serious gunshot or knife injury could kill you if it perforated the intestine and allowed coliform bacteria to spread around your abdomen.

But you know this (or at least you ought to). What you may not know is that washing will not make the coliform bacteria go away. They’re holed up in the pores of your skin and nothing short of sandblasting — certainly not your morning shower — is going to get them out. Showering merely gets rid of the ones that have strayed onto the surface. The bacteria won’t do much harm if they stay put, but when you urinate your fingers come in contact with Mister P. long enough for the coliform bacteria in your pores to hop aboard. Your fingers subsequently touch lots of other infectible items. If you don’t wash your hands with soap and water (soap gets rid of the skin oil that the bacteria stick to) … hello, Typhoid Mary.

It now dawns on you: jeez, if merely touching my privates is enough to transmit bacteria, it doesn’t matter if I pee or not! Just so. Urine itself is actually fairly sterile. Cecil has read reports of it being used during wartime in poor countries as — I’m not making this up — a sort of battlefield Bactine. (U.S. doctors generally blanch at this.) The lesson to draw from this, however, is not that you can go forth dripping (yuck), but rather that just because you didn’t pee on your fingers doesn’t mean you can skip washing up.

---

edit: P.S. @Wes Mantooth - Feel free to add this to the TIL thread if you really didn't know that the point of washing your hands after urinating was not to rinse off the pee.
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By that logic you should wash your crotch fingers every time you put your hands into a pants pocket.
 
My wife’s lack of communication...which is a lack of respect. Sort of done with it tbpfh.

Today’s example. Her sis and husband have been here with me and my kids. We have some leftovers, not much. Evidently they were eating with us. They didn’t tell me which is fine because they were under the assumption per my wife that we have enough leftovers for all four of us as my wife was en route. We in fact don’t. Unless you count a total of 10 broccoli and cauliflower florets for four adults enough. They’re eating now as I text. Not a clue what I’m eating.
 
She literally right now is telling them to finish those veggies and the roasted mini potatoes. Cool. No problem. I’ll eat out of the ****ing garbage.
 
I took my boys to the Jazz/Heat game. At halftime we went down to use the bathroom and get an ice cream. Came back to people sitting in our seats. We were in row 17 of the UPPER BOWL! Where were these people sitting that makes that an upgrade? There were only like 5 rows above us. Plus, they managed to spill beer in the two minutes they were there.


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bigb said:
I took my boys to the Jazz/Heat game. At halftime we went down to use the bathroom and get an ice cream. Came back to people sitting in our seats. We were in row 17 of the UPPER BOWL! Where were these people sitting that makes that an upgrade? There were only like 5 rows above us. Plus, they managed to spill beer in the two minutes they were there.


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I assume they gave no resistance.
 
Losing utensils, cups, bowls, etc.... Where the F do they go? Bought some damn nice steak knives last year. 4 for like $150 or something obscene. In less than a year we are down to 1 of them. Literally no idea where they could be unless dinner guests are sneaking them out in their pockets. Also down to probably 1/2 of our cup stockpile. Most aren't glass so its not like they are breaking all over the place. Very odd.
 
Beer said:
Losing utensils, cups, bowls, etc.... Where the F do they go? Bought some damn nice steak knives last year. 4 for like $150 or something obscene. In less than a year we are down to 1 of them. Literally no idea where they could be unless dinner guests are sneaking them out in their pockets. Also down to probably 1/2 of our cup stockpile. Most aren't glass so its not like they are breaking all over the place. Very odd.
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Yeah, I’ve wondered this about my spoons. But yeah, I’d guess someone is stealing your steak knives. Have you asked your wife?
 
Wes Mantooth said:
Yeah, I’ve wondered this about my spoons. But yeah, I’d guess someone is stealing your steak knives. Have you asked your wife?
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Yep, we buy all of our utensils in sets so we should have the same amount. We have like 6 butter knives, 25 forks and maybe 10 spoons.
 
Beer said:
Losing utensils, cups, bowls, etc.... Where the F do they go? Bought some damn nice steak knives last year. 4 for like $150 or something obscene. In less than a year we are down to 1 of them. Literally no idea where they could be unless dinner guests are sneaking them out in their pockets. Also down to probably 1/2 of our cup stockpile. Most aren't glass so its not like they are breaking all over the place. Very odd.
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My kids carry crap everywhere. If they’re eating and need to pee, they’ll absentmindedly carry the fork/cup/spoon with them. We find bowls and cups and plates and utensils in random places all the time.


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My
bigb said:
My kids carry crap everywhere. If they’re eating and need to pee, they’ll absentmindedly carry the fork/cup/spoon with them. We find bowls and cups and plates and utensils in random places all the time.


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My kids do that and they're 23 and 27. :(
 
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