I did what many told me not to and I would like your wisdom, guys

[Saint Cy of JFC]

Don't take any trips to Penn State within the next 16 years.

 

[bigb]

You want to help your son? Love his mother.

Sometimes babies cry, close the door and walk away.

Get down on the floor to play.

Everybody can see you are bigger than he is, there is NEVER a reason to prove it.

You can control your phone, your tv, your car, your computer. The kid is his own person, don't freak out if he wants to do things his own way. Personality begins to show earlier than you'd think.

Trouts rule about bedtime--you'd be wise to listen. Let me add that your bed is NOT for kids. Take them to the couch but don't you or your wife teach them to sleep with you or they'll never get out.

You make some really good points here. My kids don't sleep in our bed either. We'll sometimes take naps together in my bed. But if I wake up to a kid coming in, I don't let them crawl into my bed. If they say they're scared, I lay down with them in their bed.

 

[bigb]

That reminds me, when my wife talked to my son she would always say things like "tall green tree" or "big red truck" instead of "tree" and "car." We always talked to our son like we talked to each other. He developed speech and a good sized vocabulary early.

That's actually really good advice. We also teach our kids very basic sign language. It helps them express themselves before they learn how to formulate a lot of words. Significantly cuts down on the fits they throw if they can sign "more" or "drink" before they can actually say them. A local Utah mom had a deaf daughter and she made a series of DVDs on a very young kid level. My kids watch them from a young age and pick it up really quick. Plus, it impresses the crap out of others. They are called Baby Signing Time.

 

[moevillini]

That's actually really good advice. We also teach our kids very basic sign language. It helps them express themselves before they learn how to formulate a lot of words. Significantly cuts down on the fits they throw if they can sign "more" or "drink" before they can actually say them. A local Utah mom had a deaf daughter and she made a series of DVDs on a very young kid level. My kids watch them from a young age and pick it up really quick. Plus, it impresses the crap out of others. They are called Baby Signing Time.

sign language is very popular it seems, I know 2 babies (9-15 months) who use it fairly well. part of it is that babies generally have much better gross motor control of their arms/hands than fine motor control of their lips and tongues. It's a great way to teach/reinforce the concept of language.

As far as never waking a sleeping baby, I had one kid I had to wake or he'd be a screaming banshee. I could tell when he'd start to stir and I'd wake him up and get him out of bed - he'd be as pleasant as could be. If I let him wake up himself, he'd wake up having a major tantrum. It was just something we learned by trial and error, but it helped immensely. Another one of my kids would not go to sleep unless I gently rubbed his eyelids so he'd be forced to close his eyes. After a minute or so of that, he'd be asleep. You just never know!

This is getting a little further afield, but let them have choices and make decisions like Trout mentioned. Keep it simple, like letting them pick the yellow shirt or the orange shirt. And as has been said, talk to them using lots of adjectives/adverbs.


Oh, and hold off on starting him on a regimen of six months of heavy lifting, OK?

 

[gregbroncs]

Congrats archie.

A lot of my advice has been said here already, but here it is anyway.

1. Don't allow him to sleep in your bed. You will regret it later.
2. Talk to him. Don't baby talk him. If you talk to them they learn to talk faster.
3. Don't overreact when he falls. This is hard. You want to comfort them. But they watch you for a reaction. If you ignore it or laugh they usually just get up and keep going.
4. When old enough to watch TV try and find programs that teach. It is amazing how much they can learn watching TV. Avoid cartoons that show violence. (My son watched kung fu panda and proceeded to kick his sister for days, (he was 18 months at the time).
5. This is the most important. Enjoy your time with them. They grow up so fast it makes your head spin.

 

[bigb]

One thing I just thought of is to speak Spanish to him. I started to that with #1 but didn't keep up with it. I really wish I would have. I know someone who did it and by the time the kid was about 2, she was doing what he asked her to do.

 

[Archie Moses]

I just want to say thanks to everyone. FYI although he's just under 8 pounds, he's really lengthy. We've had multiple people tell us, including nurses he has the biggest baby feet they've ever seen. He doesn't fit in any baby clothes we have for 0-3 months. I'm 6'5" and Hottie Moses is 5'10" so I'll be disappointed if he doesn't play in the NBA.

 

[Duck Rodgers]

Do you need Trout and I to come over to your house and paint his room in BYU colors or anything?

 

[MK11]

So, I'm a dad. My son was born yesterday at 2 pm and we will be going home from the hospital tomorrow afternoon. I would like to know from the parents out there what you wish you knew when you had your first. Any tricks, tips, and advice would be greatly appreciated.

Now that I'm a father and looking back, Trout does a great job expressing the overwhelming feeling of having a kid and loving it so deeply, but even that doesn't begin to express how incredible the experience is. Good times fellow Jazz fanz, good times.

Hehepeepeecaca

Congratulations Archie. Now you are a FATHER. Must be an amazing experience. I can't even imagine how you feel now. And won't be able to understand your feelings until being a father myself, if I ever would.

Here is my very little gift for your son. Protects against the "Evil Eye". Not proven scientifically though. Just an old Turkish tradition.

By the way, TroutBum's post is excellent but except for one thing. For the love of the same Gods, DO NOT spank him no matter what. Why? Because he will think that you don't love him at the very moment of you spank him. It's that simple.

And, kids never forget (it). My father used to do it, probably on purpose of TroutBum's explanations, but I do remember that moments and how I was used to be angry with him at the times when he did that. And no, it has never ever worked on me. I just did more and more of the things he gets angry with, like peeing into his shoes, kicking his legs or running completely naked in the streets.

And here is another problem with it. At first, you will spank him at his bottom and no, it WON'T discipline him, he will do it again and again if he likes to do. Then you will spank him harder the next time. And maybe one day you will beat him(after all, what, you'll be used to hit him by the time). Plus, in my opinion, there won't be a big difference between being spanked or beaten for a little kid as a matter of fact, other than the pain degree.

I know there are lots of articles all over the internet about why and how you should spank your child but if you look for the contrary advices you'll find much more. Howower, if you are a religous person you may choose to spank him, because if I remember correct, in one of the Bibles, says "if you love your child, beat him/her slightly" or something like that.

And I think you shouldn't think like "Hey, what the hell, it's just a little ligth smack, it's not like I'm beating the hell out of him". Because, if a little light smack can really make it for the discipline, then you can easly find a lot more better ways.

And finally, needless to say, the discipline and the punishment are way different things.

 

[MK11]

I just want to say thanks to everyone. FYI although he's just under 8 pounds, he's really lengthy. We've had multiple people tell us, including nurses he has the biggest baby feet they've ever seen. He doesn't fit in any baby clothes we have for 0-3 months. I'm 6'5" and Hottie Moses is 5'10" so I'll be disappointed if he doesn't play in the NBA.

Lol... We should tank the 2030 season.

 

[colton]

By the way, TroutBum's post is excellent but except for one thing. For the love of the same Gods, DO NOT spank him no matter what. Why? Because he will think that you don't love him at the very moment of you spank him. It's that simple.

And, kids never forget (it). My father used to do it, probably on purpose of TroutBum's explanations, but I do remember that moments and how I was used to be angry with him at the times when he did that. And no, it has never ever worked on me. I just did more and more of the things he gets angry with, like peeing into his shoes, kicking his legs or running completely naked in the streets.

And here is another problem with it. At first, you will spank him at his bottom and no, it WON'T discipline him, he will do it again and again if he likes to do. Then you will spank him harder the next time. And maybe one day you will beat him(after all, what, you'll be used to hit him by the time). Plus, in my opinion, there won't be a big difference between being spanked or beaten for a little kid as a matter of fact, other than the pain degree.

I know there are lots of articles all over the internet about why and how you should spank your child but if you look for the contrary advices you'll find much more. Howower, if you are a religous person you may choose to spank him, because if I remember correct, in one of the Bibles, says "if you love your child, beat him/her slightly" or something like that.

And I think you shouldn't think like "Hey, what the hell, it's just a little ligth smack, it's not like I'm beating the hell out of him". Because, if a little light smack can really make it for the discipline, then you can easly find a lot more better ways.

And finally, needless to say, the discipline and the punishment are way different things.

I'm not super opposed to spanking, even though I have practically never spanked my own kids. I am opposed to spanking while you're mad, though--that's a recipe for disaster.

For me, though, what I found works much better than spanking is getting down at eye level to the kid and grabbing him/her by the shoulder to get his/her attention. Then talk directly to the kid. Don't say "Oh, stop doing that!" with no actions... make the kid stop doing it by getting in their face and turning their body a different direction. That can be done in a completely nonviolent way, but believe me the kid will know that he has been doing something that he shouldn't have been doing.

And I'm obviously talking about ~2 year olds or older, here, not babies.

 

[colton]

Oh, and I second or third a lot of the advice given by others, such as:

1. Don't allow him to sleep in your bed. You will regret it later.
2. Talk to him. Don't baby talk him. If you talk to them they learn to talk faster.
3. Don't overreact when he falls. This is hard. You want to comfort them. But they watch you for a reaction. If you ignore it or laugh they usually just get up and keep going.

#1 worked well for us.

#2 is huge in my book.

And #3 is very real--I can't count how many times I've seen a kid fall (or something), and not start crying at all until the parents give a reaction like "Oh no! Are you OK?"


Edit: And as my last post would indicate: whether or not you believe in spanking, DO NOT TOLERATE BAD BEHAVIOR! It is so easy to stop most of the time... you just get off your butt, go over to your kid, and make him stop doing it. It is so annoying when parents tell their kids to stop doing something, but then do absolutely nothing when the kid continues to do it. Real pet peeve of mine.