Jerry Lundegaard
Banned
I once had my wife kidnapped so I could steal from her father. Didn't go too well.
Post Moronic Things You've Done to Make Me Feel Better About What I Did
- Thread starter Archie Moses
- Start date
Today, I had a long lunch brake so I decided to get some errands done. Went and got an oil change, a car wash, and got my breaks fixed.
Stupid thing is, I left my wallet at the break shop so I had to go back to grab it, by the time I got back to work I was about a half hour late from my lunch brake and my boss flipped. I told him about leaving my wallet at the break repair shop, but he didnt want to hear it and sent me home early.
Hopefully I still have a job when I go in tomorrow morning or I think my girlfriend will probly brake up with me
I am sure it was a joke but I almost broke something out of anger after reading all the break/brake backwards ****.
Don't brake something you can't fix.
UGLI baby
Well-Known Member
Give me a ****ing brake, man. Had a bad day and might not have a job to go to tomorrow.
Really dont need someone braking down every single spelling and grammar error I make.
Gyp Rosetti
Banned
Today, I had a long lunch brake so I decided to get some errands done. Went and got an oil change, a car wash, and got my breaks fixed.
Stupid thing is, I left my wallet at the break shop so I had to go back to grab it, by the time I got back to work I was about a half hour late from my lunch brake and my boss flipped. I told him about leaving my wallet at the break repair shop, but he didnt want to hear it and sent me home early.
Hopefully I still have a job when I go in tomorrow morning or I think my girlfriend will probly brake up with me
From this brief description of your boss and the girl, if I were you, I'd look at the new start as a total positive.
I used to be sort of an aggro driver. Well, I still am, but I'm not quite as ridiculous.
When my wife and I were dating we were driving in an old Toyota 2WD pickup, one of the really small ones. I was at the intersection of 72nd (Fort Union Blvd) and 9th east turning right onto 9th east. I was turning onto a 2 lane road and there was a van going through the intersection and driving in the left lane so I made my turn into the right lane. In the middle of the intersection the guy changes lanes (illegal) and rides up on my *** right after I make the turn and honks at me. I slammed on the breakes (<--how do you like them apples?) and he rear-ended me. My wife (girlfriend at the time) was pissed but I was all huffy and puffy and ready to give this guy a piece of my mind. He gets out of the car, then his kids start getting out of the car ranging in age from 16ish to 7ish, then his very pregnant wife gets out of the car. To top it off the guy comes over and starts apologizing to me and was an all-around nice guy about it all. I really felt like a jackass. I stopped driving like such a prick for at least two weeks.
When my wife and I were dating we were driving in an old Toyota 2WD pickup, one of the really small ones. I was at the intersection of 72nd (Fort Union Blvd) and 9th east turning right onto 9th east. I was turning onto a 2 lane road and there was a van going through the intersection and driving in the left lane so I made my turn into the right lane. In the middle of the intersection the guy changes lanes (illegal) and rides up on my *** right after I make the turn and honks at me. I slammed on the breakes (<--how do you like them apples?) and he rear-ended me. My wife (girlfriend at the time) was pissed but I was all huffy and puffy and ready to give this guy a piece of my mind. He gets out of the car, then his kids start getting out of the car ranging in age from 16ish to 7ish, then his very pregnant wife gets out of the car. To top it off the guy comes over and starts apologizing to me and was an all-around nice guy about it all. I really felt like a jackass. I stopped driving like such a prick for at least two weeks.
Wow
D
Deleted member 848
Guest
FYI, you spelled moran* in the title incorrectly, Arch.
Most moronic moment of my fairly short life?
I used to work at the Nike Factory Outlet Store a few minutes away from my house. It was the first Sunday that was open with extended hours in the holiday season, so it was 6:30 and the store was more-or-less dead. Me and one of my asian buddies began to have a vert on test towards the middle of the store, which he subsequently one. Embarrassed, I told myself out-loud that I needed to start doing more calf-raises. I then see these two sharp wooden laminate benches adjacent to each other, with a heavy metal framework, a few steps away from where I was. So, for reasons I still don't exactly know, I decide to step onto the edge of one of the benches, and attempt a calf-raise. I was maybe halfway through my first one when the bench tipped over backwards, and I fell head-first into the bench sitting adjacent to it. I split my head open, swore a few times, and started bleeding all over the place in the middle of work, while there were still customer in the store. I ended up going to the hospital, found out I broke my wrist as well, and needed 10 stitches a few inches into my hairline. Doctors said that it was nothing short of amazing that I didn't concuss, seeing as the cut was apparently very very deep.
Did I get WCB leave? Yes
Did I deserve it? No
Am I a moran? Very much so. Hope this makes you feel better about yourself, Mr. Moses.
Most moronic moment of my fairly short life?
I used to work at the Nike Factory Outlet Store a few minutes away from my house. It was the first Sunday that was open with extended hours in the holiday season, so it was 6:30 and the store was more-or-less dead. Me and one of my asian buddies began to have a vert on test towards the middle of the store, which he subsequently one. Embarrassed, I told myself out-loud that I needed to start doing more calf-raises. I then see these two sharp wooden laminate benches adjacent to each other, with a heavy metal framework, a few steps away from where I was. So, for reasons I still don't exactly know, I decide to step onto the edge of one of the benches, and attempt a calf-raise. I was maybe halfway through my first one when the bench tipped over backwards, and I fell head-first into the bench sitting adjacent to it. I split my head open, swore a few times, and started bleeding all over the place in the middle of work, while there were still customer in the store. I ended up going to the hospital, found out I broke my wrist as well, and needed 10 stitches a few inches into my hairline. Doctors said that it was nothing short of amazing that I didn't concuss, seeing as the cut was apparently very very deep.
Did I get WCB leave? Yes
Did I deserve it? No
Am I a moran? Very much so. Hope this makes you feel better about yourself, Mr. Moses.
candrew
Well-Known Member
This was around Christmas about 18 years ago but anyway - my girlfriend at the time and her best friend were not getting along. To try to patch things up my g/f bought her best friend a watch for Christmas. Her friend was kind of a bitch so she told her she didn't want the watch and they ended up getting in a big fight. In tears my g/f gave me the watch and she told me to throw it in the garbage. Well, I took the watch and gave it to a co-worker I was cheating on her with for Christmas.
New Years Eve comes we have a company party. I bring my g/f and there is my co-worker wearing the ****ing watch I gave her for Christmas. My g/f sees it and...well the rest is too ugly to relive.
At least I learned at a young age I wasn't a player.
New Years Eve comes we have a company party. I bring my g/f and there is my co-worker wearing the ****ing watch I gave her for Christmas. My g/f sees it and...well the rest is too ugly to relive.
At least I learned at a young age I wasn't a player.
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When I was 11 years old I went to run errands with my mom and two younger siblings (4 & 3 years old). She stopped in the parking lot of this strip mall and ran in to drop soemthings off at one of the stores. I unbuckled my younger siblings and let them jump around in the backseat to have some fun. That turned into jumping back and forth over the seat. I got out of the car because I was tired of sitting there waiting for my mom. Well my youngest sibling jumped over the seat into the front seat and kicked the gear shift. It knocked the car into neutral. The parking lot was on a slight incline and so the car started to roll down hill. I ran around to the back of the car and pushed against it. Why I did not get in and put the car in park I still do not know.
At that time a large truck decided to back up and I was pinned between the two cars. Short story is that it ripped my legs open to the bone. I have to have them sewn shut and I was in a wheelchair for 3 months.
At that time a large truck decided to back up and I was pinned between the two cars. Short story is that it ripped my legs open to the bone. I have to have them sewn shut and I was in a wheelchair for 3 months.