A Joke a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

[Gameface]

My dog used to chase people on a bike. It got so bad I had to take his bike away.

 

[Joe Bagadonuts]

I played the accordion from 6-12 years old (parents couldn't afford a piano). Still wish I had it and could play it.

Teacher: “Which book has helped you the most in your life?”
Student: “My father’s check book!”

I played too. The studio where I learned had this all accordion band that I had to play in. Sounded terrible! Most embarrassing thing of my life. One day me and a couple of buddies saw someone's accordion in their backseat at a mall so we broke in and left ours.

 

[Joe Bagadonuts]

Do all parents do this? Listen, I want my daughter to follow her own path in life. But I picture her being a rockclimber/Nancy Wilson guitarist badass type, who is a stud State champ track athlete, valedictorian, great human being who sees purpose in community and volunteer work, and yet is sexy as hell. Has it all.

Pretty much describes how my daughter has turned out.

 

[Joe Bagadonuts]

Sorry for de-railing the joke thread. I'd tell a joke, but all of mine are worse than Colton's.

Unpossible.

 

[Siro]

I honestly can't think of any good jokes i can tell without upsetting people.

 

[Heathme]

What do you call a sketchy Italian neighborhood?

A spaghetto

 

[infection]

I honestly can't think of any good jokes i can tell without upsetting people.

Put them in spoilers. Or PM them.

 

[Rubashov]

Oldest joke i know

Why do they call the camel the ship of the desert?

Cause its full of arab semen

 

[bigb]

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?





Because they’re ugly and they stink.

 

[Rubashov]

how does every racist joke start?


with a look over your shoulder.

 

[Heathme]

Several years ago I worked at an orange juice factory. It was a bummer that I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

I almost beat my supervisor to a pulp but I'll spare you the juicy details.

 

[JAZZGASM]

How do you think the unthinkable?





With an Ithburg!
-Mike Tyson