Cheating

[LogGrad98]

I'm a serial cheater, both emotionally and physically. It cost me one marriage, and nearly my second. Got myself into therapy and 12-step work for sex addiction, and have stuck with it all for over 3 years now. It saved my life, and I mean that literally. What I have lost is gone, but the relationships I have been blessed to not lose are recovering, and they're better than they've ever been. So much of the happiness and fulfillment that had eluded me for most of my life is gradually, but steadily, coming into focus. I'm a good husband and dad, have concrete goals that for once in my life seem achievable, and there is a growing sense of peace and authenticity.

I know some of you will roll your eyes-- everybody is entitled to their opinions, and sex addiction is often regarded with skepticism. It's not even a recognized diagnosis, officially. But for me, it's been a very real struggle; for the people I've hurt, the pain has also been very real; now I know there are very real causes, and that awareness allows me to process them in a healthy way. If any of this rings true, and you don't know how to get a handle on it, you're welcome to DM me.

Those inclined to joke about it... Go for it-- you should! It really is an absurd thing, no matter how you slice it, and I don't think I could have survived it all myself without a sense of humor.

Wow respect for having the guts to come forward with that. I am glad you got yourself on track and are in the process of healing your life and relationships. I know there are more than a few here that understand addiction so I doubt you will get much more than good-natured ribbing, if anything else. For her pleasure, of course.



*damnit I tried and just could not let it go....sigh*

 

[fishonjazz]

Don't have anything to add and don't want to ruin anything so I'm just gonna say that the previous two posts are all time greats. Well done

 

[bigb]

Maybe polyamory is more common than I thought. There is an article published yesterday that has a statistic that was hard for me to wrap my head around.

"Nearly half of all young adults are single: 34 percent of women, and a whopping 63 percent of men."

That means roughly 66% of women are in relationships, but allocated to that 66% of women is only 37% men. That isn't quite 2 women to every man, but it is in the ballpark, and that is the average.

Most young men are single. Most young women are not.

More than 60 percent of young men are single, nearly twice the rate of unattached young women, signaling a larger breakdown in the social, romantic and sexual life of the American male. Men i…

thehill.com

It’s possible, maybe even probable, that a good number of those women are lesbians. That’s two women for one relationship. I don’t personally know a lot of young gay men, but I know (through my college aged daughter) more than a couple of college aged lesbians. They’re all in a relationship.

 

[bigb]

I'm a serial cheater, both emotionally and physically. It cost me one marriage, and nearly my second. Got myself into therapy and 12-step work for sex addiction, and have stuck with it all for over 3 years now. It saved my life, and I mean that literally. What I have lost is gone, but the relationships I have been blessed to not lose are recovering, and they're better than they've ever been. So much of the happiness and fulfillment that had eluded me for most of my life is gradually, but steadily, coming into focus. I'm a good husband and dad, have concrete goals that for once in my life seem achievable, and there is a growing sense of peace and authenticity.

I know some of you will roll your eyes-- everybody is entitled to their opinions, and sex addiction is often regarded with skepticism. It's not even a recognized diagnosis, officially. But for me, it's been a very real struggle; for the people I've hurt, the pain has also been very real; now I know there are very real causes, and that awareness allows me to process them in a healthy way. If any of this rings true, and you don't know how to get a handle on it, you're welcome to DM me.

Those inclined to joke about it... Go for it-- you should! It really is an absurd thing, no matter how you slice it, and I don't think I could have survived it all myself without a sense of humor.

Dude, that took guts. Good on you! Congrats on all the hard work. Keep going.

 

[gandalfe]

It’s possible, maybe even probable, that a good number of those women are lesbians. That’s two women for one relationship. I don’t personally know a lot of young gay men, but I know (through my college aged daughter) more than a couple of college aged lesbians. They’re all in a relationship.

There's also a reasonable number of cases where people will LIE. Maybe the person asking the question is a creepy guy, causing women to over-report, or a hot chick, causing men to under-report.

 

[Gameface]

It’s possible, maybe even probable, that a good number of those women are lesbians. That’s two women for one relationship. I don’t personally know a lot of young gay men, but I know (through my college aged daughter) more than a couple of college aged lesbians. They’re all in a relationship.

A lesbian I worked with in the Navy told us a joke. Here it goes.

Q: What does a lesbian bring to a second date?

A: A moving truck.

If anyone doesn't get it, since there's no silly man in the equation scared of commitment lesbian relationships tend to move quickly.

 

[Safetydan]

A lesbian I worked with in the Navy told us a joke. Here it goes.

Q: What does a lesbian bring to a second date?

A: A moving truck.

If anyone doesn't get it, since there's no silly man in the equation scared of commitment lesbian relationships tend to move quickly.

As the son of a Lesbian (who came out when I was about 11) I can tell you that this is insanely true.