Please think before posting

[Scat]

Arch, I know you and I have our differences and I ride you pretty hard but this is just horrid. Please believe me when I say I feel for you and your family.

My family has recently gone through a very difficult time and the emotional part of it sucks but the second guessing that you'll do and thinking about what you could have done to prevent it is worse. You'll find ways to blame yourself on some level and will feel guilty for weeks even though rationally, you know it wasn't yours or anybody else's fault.

Hang tough and please don't avoid your family. If you don't feel like talking to them, then just show up and listen. You don't have to say anything but your being there will give others comfort. Don't take it personally and keep reminding yourself that others hurt just as much as you do. I think that when we start feeling sorry for ourselves and think that others can't possibly feel as bad as we do is when things start to go south, quickly. Try to avoid the pity party and realize how bad this is for everyone.

Hang tough. You'll get through it.

 

[NUMBERICA]

KEK, that's terrible. But you can't take any blame for it. You are allowed to feel that maybe you should've been in his life with this turn of events, but that's hindsight. You can't sweat it.

Archie, that's absolutely terrible. I can't even imagine what that would be like right now and I wouldn't pretend like I can. But I can tell you that you need your family and your family needs you. Screw being strong, weep to your hearts content. If you feel you need that, then do it. If you avoid your family during this time, the pain of regret will become unbearable. Be there for them, they'll be there for you.

 

[GoJazz]

I am sorry to hear this for both of you. It is extremely sad when things in someones life are so bad that they would take there own life.

 

[unluckyseventeen]

KEK and Archie, we all love you guys. If we ever come off with a tough-guy facade, it's because we're all lame, faux tough-guys on the internet. If we can do anything to help then please let us know.

I will at least share some experiences (oh god, I'm at work and about to break down right now.. how embarrassing), as I had a very dear person to me pass very quickly and unexpectedly after a long fight with cancer. I'll tell you that it's going to be hard, and you'll have really unexpected times of ups and downs - I actually broke down crying in a Smith's parking lot the day after she died. I felt really upset at how a lot of people acted at her funeral - as if this was a routine thing. It was really hard, and you don't know how much you appreciate somebody until they're gone.

Things will always remind you of the person you were close to, and you'll miss them, sure, but after a couple of weeks you'll start to see pictures of them or things that remind you of them, and be happy that you knew them, rather than sad that they're gone. I at least take solace in a sort of belief that you'll see them again, someday. I can't explain the afterlife or even life itself, but it's mysterious and it would be a flat-out cheat if you couldn't see the ones you loved after this life. So, I'll go on to say: you'll see them again, and the circumstances will be much better.

It'll be okay. We love you. Lots of people are willing to support you and help out however we can. Just let us know.

 

[Gyp Rosetti]

KEK and Archie, we all love you guys. If we ever come off with a tough-guy facade, it's because we're all lame, faux tough-guys on the internet. If we can do anything to help then please let us know.

Thanks.


I will at least share some experiences (oh god, I'm at work and about to break down right now.. how embarrassing), as I had a very dear person to me pass very quickly and unexpectedly after a long fight with cancer. I'll tell you that it's going to be hard, and you'll have really unexpected times of ups and downs - I actually broke down crying in a Smith's parking lot the day after she died. I felt really upset at how a lot of people acted at her funeral - as if this was a routine thing.

I'm not sure how people acted at the funeral you're referencing but I'm sorry either way. At my brother's service (there was no funeral), I don't think I acted like a typical mourner. There was over 800 people, and about 500 of them were students or ex-students. At times, when I saw certain people who I know positively influenced his life or meant something to him or us collectively as a family, it became a little tougher for me. But for all the kids, I tried to be as appreciative and normal and strong for them as possible, telling them thank you and it's okay and things of that nature. I think bawling tears can send the wrong message in some ways. That's not to say I think males shouldn't cry. Quite the contrary. And of course natural human emotions are a beautiful thing and are to be understood in such a situation. But I felt, I suppose consciously and subconsciously, that such emotions can send kids the wrong message and they begin to wallow in their own self-pity, even though almost all of them really didn't know my brother. Even though he did choose to take his own life. I'm sorry if that sounds cruel. I love my brother so dearly still. But I can't feign the truth and that is that he took his own life and I can't help but think that no martyrdom should come from that.

It was really hard, and you don't know how much you appreciate somebody until they're gone.

Things will always remind you of the person you were close to, and you'll miss them, sure, but after a couple of weeks you'll start to see pictures of them or things that remind you of them, and be happy that you knew them, rather than sad that they're gone. I at least take solace in a sort of belief that you'll see them again, someday. I can't explain the afterlife or even life itself, but it's mysterious and it would be a flat-out cheat if you couldn't see the ones you loved after this life. So, I'll go on to say: you'll see them again, and the circumstances will be much better.

It'll be okay. We love you. Lots of people are willing to support you and help out however we can. Just let us know.

Thank you very much man. it means a lot. I'll say that I too apologize if I come across as a douche on here which I know I do more often than anyone else. Okay, outside of anyone other than Dick and Dave perhaps. But you get the point. I know I'm no tough guy and am just screwing around on a site I love. Thanks Jason and mods.

...

 

[Surely]

I came across a saying a while back that I really like. Perhaps I have shared it before so I apologize if I have but here it is:

Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Best wishes to you and your family.

 

[TroutBum]

I came across a saying a while back that I really like. Perhaps I have shared it before so I apologize if I have but here it is:

Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Best wishes to you and your family.

+12 after I spread some rep around.

 

[Beantown]

Sorry for your loss Archie, studying the plan of salvation will help. You will see him again and it will be a joyous reunion.

 

[bigb]

The only thing I can tell you Archie is that you and only you know what's best for you. Like I was telling you when we talked, my wife's younger brother died about 7 and a half years ago. He was her only full sibling and only about 18 months younger than her. That was easily the most brutal thing we have ever gone through. My wife and I were high school sweet hearts, so I'd known him for about 10 years. He was like a brother to me too. The one thing that helped us was being around the rest of the family. That night we spent with her dad's side of the family talking about him and reliving the wonderful memories we have. The next day we broke out some of the home movies before moving to be with her mom's side, where we did it all over again. It was brutally hard and extremely healing all at the same time.
The only advice I can give you is to trust yourself and your heart. You have every right to feel any emotions you may feel. If you think you need to get out and be by yourself, do it. Just be careful of other emotions you may be feeling if you want to be by yourself. If you want to stay home with your wife, do it. If you want to spend every waking minute with your family, do it. If you don't want to talk about him for a while, don't. Personally, talking about him helped us immensely.
One other thing I will say is this: I know where your general religious beliefs lay. Remember the things you've been taught and have taught. Get a Priesthood Blessing. Think of someone you know and trust who isn't directly involved in the family but knows you guys. When my brother-in-law died, I asked my dad to give us both blessings. I simply couldn't keep myself from breaking down long enough to do it for my wife, so he did it for me. Rely on the Lord.
As I said earlier to you, don't hesitate to call on me if you want.

 

[TroutBum]

I really do love this place. We're all dicks to each other, but when it matters, we're all here for each other also.

I would rep you all if I could.










(except BeanClown)

 

[Beantown]

I really do love this place. We're all dicks to each other, but when it matters, we're all here for each other also.

I would rep you all if I could.










(except BeanClown)

Haha, I was just gonna PM you to see if you could help with our insurance and combine them all. Good thing I was slow to act on that.

 

[Archie Moses]

I would like to thank all of you for your posts, texts, calls, messages, and keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. It's funny, but I never would have thought that a message board could be so kind, sincere, loving, and respectful - especially to a guy who plays a persona like Archie Moses. You've truly been uplifting and kind and I've needed it. I'm not looking for a pity-party, I'm just having a real hard time coping with the fact that I lost my brother today.

Again, thanks!


-Mike