If you love your kids, spank them. Life is a bitch and it will beat your *** into the ground -- if you don't prepare your kids for serious consequences, then you better like them a lot, because they'll be living with you for a long, long time. Screw spanking soft also. I spank my kids swiftly and hard. Get their damn attention and make it hurt, that way, hopefully, you won't have to do it again. My wife and I disagree on this one, but she has come around to at least not being mad at me about it. All it took was seeing how amazingly good the kids are when it's just me, and how horribly bad they are when it's just her. I hardly spank my 4 year old, unless it's for something like running into the street, or something that puts herself or her sister in danger. My 2 year old on the other hand... She's her dads girl, and just like her dad, spanking hasn't seemed to do much. I'm trying other things, but at least I know I'm getting through to her: when she does something wrong she automatically sits down so I can't smack her. Smart little ****.