idestroyedthetoilet
Well-Known Member
Neither do I dude. I've been with chick for nearly 20 years and won't quit her despite threats. You think it's a lite decision? Sometimes something has to give, and I realize my own flaws.
Stupid Pet Peeves
- Thread starter Hartsock
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Neither do I dude. I've been with chick for nearly 20 years and won't quit her despite threats. You think it's a lite decision? Sometimes something has to give, and I realize my own flaws.
Miggs
Well-Known Member
Threats? I’m confused. On one hand, at the end you make it sound like you left her but on the other, you make it sound like you “won’t quit her” and refuse to let it end.
idestroyedthetoilet
Well-Known Member
Private discussion bud, you're a good dude and we can have it if you want. Open marriage seems to be a novelty concept here. I was responding to log not understanding the divorce thing. At some point?
idestroyedthetoilet
Well-Known Member
@Wes Mantooth is a weird bastard. On one end he plays the chivalrous bastard, but on the other doesn't understand "I wont quit her". Did marriage vows and unconditional love have to be explained to this guy? Can't ever tell if serious or not.
LoPo
Well-Known Member
I'm a happily married guy for 13 years but this post is pretty true. Unless you absolutely can't live without her, don't do it.
I think the hardest part of the whole thing is the age we live in. So many freaking distractions lead to bad thoughts. I'm not talking about porn, but just so much to do which keeps people from doing the things they need to do. Instead of going places and doing things, you watch people go places and do things on TV, social media, etc. And of course all those people seem cooler, hotter, more interesting.
This post is also true when it comes to kids. Used to be that everything was shared and the "village helped to raise the kid." Now, the village is overpriced daycare and everything is so expensive. So if it doesn't work out with the wife, **** is too expensive plus the kids will suffer with divorce. I wouldn't want life any other way, but it's freaking tough.
Moral of the story - get married if money isn't an issue. If money might be an issue, get married only if you can't live without her.
I don't think you have to get married if you can't live without here. Marriage is not required for a long-term (life-long) committed relationship.
The single biggest and somewhat common sense reasonable change I would make is that currently child support is based on providing your dependant spouse (if she has primary custody) and children with a lifestyle that they have been accustomed to during the marriage. The lifestyle of the provider is not a consideration. The change I would make is that you are not required to provide a better lifestyle for your ex-spouse than you are able to provide for yourself. Equal quality of life.
One of the biggest harms of the current system is that the kids live in a cozy house in a nice neighborhood with mom, then spend every other weekend sleeping on the couch and the floor in dad's ghetto apartment. Dad can't afford cable, expensive food, other forms of entertainment, so kids sit in crummy dad's apartment hating life, just waiting to get back to their "real" house.
I would also like to see reform as far as who primary guardianship is given to. In Utah especially the woman will get custody unless she's beyond, well beyond, unfit. Just horribly unfit, she'll still get the kids and still get the child support.
I also think it should be encouraged that child support be provided in material ways vs a payment to the ex-spouse. For example, you take the kids clothes shopping. You buy the kids food. You pay for the soccer league they are in. If that doesn't add up to what you owe, or you're a guy who doesn't want that kind of involvement with your kids, sure, send the ex a check for the difference. But What I see a lot of is a father who does a lot of that, gets credit for none of it and sends a huge chunk of his income to the ex who often isn't really spending all that money on the kids.
LoPo
Well-Known Member
Yeah, the child support system is pretty poorly designed. They are trying to do the best by the kids, but the entire situation just creates hostility between the former spouses. One gets the kids, the money, and usually the most important belongings. And the judge expects the former spouses to get along on behalf of the kids. Good luck with that....
Miggs
Well-Known Member
This leaves me far more confused.
Miggs
Well-Known Member
Mmmmm...porn.
LoPo
Well-Known Member
I didn't want to dwell on porn, but, once typed, why dwell on anything else?
You should be the woman. At least you only have to deal with the emotional fallout. But it does suck for everyone. Big design flaw.
