As a new season dawns on Salt Lake City with the Jazz open scrimmage Friday night, Jazz General Manager Dennis Lindsey hopes to prepare fans for new heights. In aim of achieving a higher plane of basketball perfection, Lindsey and Jazz President Steve Starks announce a new partnership for what was formerly Vivint Smart Home Arena.
“With some defining events in Jazz history about to be unveiled,” Starks said, “we were charged with establishing a house of playing, a house of fast-breaks, a house of Favors, a house of Gobert, a house of O’Neale, a house that Larry built.”
“We needed a partnership that better reflected the transformations that will take place,” Dennis Lindsey explained. “We sought out something that’s always known for truth — something unquestionable, something whose credibility speaks for itself and shines light on dark, a place where only truth can be spoken — and that’s when our partnership became clear.”
Above: Jazz unveil newly renovated Best Buy Arena.
As a safe space for the holy is secured, a divine communion may now transpire.
Sam Perkins
The man who was the stretch-four before it was ever known as the stretch-four. The gentleman who pioneered bigs shooting the long ball (sorry, folks, Manute Bol doesn’t count). A man who played big and stretched the floor. Big Smooth was averaging 4 attempts per game from beyond the arc in the latter half of his career. Prior to the Jazz’s two finals runs, Big Sam was instrumental in the Sonics advancing past the Jazz in a 7-game series in the 1996 WCF. Sam put up a total of 35 threes in that series, connecting on 15 of them (43%).
Derrick Favors
As Derrick has progressed through this off-season, he has become lighter, more agile, more healthy, and, most importantly, started channeling his inner Sam Perkins. As Vivint becomes Best Buy, a metamorphosis prepares to take shape, and the appearance of the triune god comes forth in its three manifestations:
The Fav:
The Churro:
The Big Smooth:
But his god-like transformation is not divine alone. He will have assistance from other magic powers.
Please tune in to the world wide broadcast next weekend as Derrick is sustained as prospect, stretch-4, and rebounder.
Dirk Favors
As Rick Carlisle harnessed the mystical power of a mask in The Mask, so too will Dirk Favors possess his own mask.
Above: Dirk Favors prepares to put on his magic mask.
Rumors abound that Favors has actually become a naturalized German.
So prepare yourselves for the season of the Favors three-ball.
But beware that not all Germans are as ecstatic about this news...
https://www.captiongenerator.com/1104842/Hitler-reacts-to-Dirk
[Bonus points to anyone who can convert the above link to an actual video I can embed into the thread]
Welcome to the 2018-2019 season...
“With some defining events in Jazz history about to be unveiled,” Starks said, “we were charged with establishing a house of playing, a house of fast-breaks, a house of Favors, a house of Gobert, a house of O’Neale, a house that Larry built.”
“We needed a partnership that better reflected the transformations that will take place,” Dennis Lindsey explained. “We sought out something that’s always known for truth — something unquestionable, something whose credibility speaks for itself and shines light on dark, a place where only truth can be spoken — and that’s when our partnership became clear.”
Above: Jazz unveil newly renovated Best Buy Arena.
As a safe space for the holy is secured, a divine communion may now transpire.
Sam Perkins
The man who was the stretch-four before it was ever known as the stretch-four. The gentleman who pioneered bigs shooting the long ball (sorry, folks, Manute Bol doesn’t count). A man who played big and stretched the floor. Big Smooth was averaging 4 attempts per game from beyond the arc in the latter half of his career. Prior to the Jazz’s two finals runs, Big Sam was instrumental in the Sonics advancing past the Jazz in a 7-game series in the 1996 WCF. Sam put up a total of 35 threes in that series, connecting on 15 of them (43%).
Derrick Favors
As Derrick has progressed through this off-season, he has become lighter, more agile, more healthy, and, most importantly, started channeling his inner Sam Perkins. As Vivint becomes Best Buy, a metamorphosis prepares to take shape, and the appearance of the triune god comes forth in its three manifestations:
The Fav:
The Churro:
The Big Smooth:
But his god-like transformation is not divine alone. He will have assistance from other magic powers.
Please tune in to the world wide broadcast next weekend as Derrick is sustained as prospect, stretch-4, and rebounder.
Dirk Favors
As Rick Carlisle harnessed the mystical power of a mask in The Mask, so too will Dirk Favors possess his own mask.
Above: Dirk Favors prepares to put on his magic mask.
Rumors abound that Favors has actually become a naturalized German.
So prepare yourselves for the season of the Favors three-ball.
But beware that not all Germans are as ecstatic about this news...
https://www.captiongenerator.com/1104842/Hitler-reacts-to-Dirk
[Bonus points to anyone who can convert the above link to an actual video I can embed into the thread]
Welcome to the 2018-2019 season...
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