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Wife cheated on me... again

bigb said:
Damn, reading all your stories only reaffirms my belief that I did hit the parent jackpot. My mom and dad are still married (over 40 years now). One of my parents made at least an appearance at every sporting event I ever participated in. That was no easy task considering there were often times 4 of us playing at overlapping times in different places and my dad was Bishop from the time I was 9 until 14.

My wife, on the other hand, is the opposite. Her dad has been divorced 7 times and has a relationship with only one of his 5 kids. He has always been very selfish on top of emotionally and (occasionally) physically abusive. In fact, there was one time that if I wouldn't have been on my mission, either he or I would have been in jail and the other in the hospital. We see him usually one time a year, and that's too often.
After we'd been married about a month she asked me if I'd asked for his permission before I proposed. When I said no she asked why not. To simplify things I just said "I have zero respect for that man and I didn't need or want his approval". She had no problem with this.
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You're the ****ing man, brotha. Good peeps.
 
DownUnder said:
too true Having said that there are so many poor excuses for men out there that has led to that overreaction
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Yep.
And not doubting any of your stories, but my BIL tells the same stories of his ex and talks about how he's dad of the year, but he's a doucebag to my SIL and a crappy dad so it's hard to take his side on anything.
 
See, this is all just stuff I was always naive too. I mean, my parents rarely even fought, and even when they did, it wasn't ever a big fight. I'm super close with my parents, and my wife's parents. It's awesome. I hope everybody gets the opportunity to be that way with their family some day, and I hope I'm the kind of husband/dad that my kids will want to be close with me too.
 
I had very good parents, but they went through a really rough time in their marriage when I was 13. I thought they were going to get divorced for sure. They fixed things, though, and ultimately their relationship became amazing as my dad cared for my mom during cancer. They set a beautiful example to all of their grandchildren and to all of their children and their children's spouses (except one). There is no doubt that I fought harder to save my marriage because of what I'd seen with my parents.
 
I'm still close with my former mother-in-law, btw. She raised my ex wife as a single mother. I really admire her. I've wondered how much never having a dad had to do with the the things my ex eventually did to our relationship.
 
Joe Bagadonuts said:
At first I said, "Well, too bad. We made plans so it's time to go." They started crying and begging. Eventually I realized I did not want to drive four hours with miserable kids who were blaming me for missing their mom's event (it's not their fault that she does this to us) so I said, "can you promise me you'll be ready to go immediately if I come back at 10 pm?" They said yes, so that's what we did. They fell asleep almost immediately once we started driving. We got to our hotel after midnight. Missed some of our plans but still had a great time on our vacation. Next time I pick them up, though, there will be another similar issue. It's practically a guarantee.
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Wow that's tough man. Sounds like she wants to get back at you for something. It's too bad when adults resort to childish behavior.


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Joe Bagadonuts said:
She wants to get back at me for catching her having an affair.
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Talk to your lawyer about it. Don't complain to the kids. They are dumb. They will soon be bored of her crap or she will run out of money and they will respect/love you even more because you were the decent one through it all. Kids aren't dumb. They quickly pick up on one parent being a dick.
 
Buy a small notebook that you can keep in your car. Every time you go to pick up your kids, write down the date, the time you arrived and a description of what happened and what time you ACTUALLY picked up the kids. Even if she is 5 mins late. Do this every.single.time. Even when she is on time. Every time. Then, snap a picture of the page and have it save up to icloud or whatever, just so you have a pic of the notebook that has the date and time stamped on it.

That way, if this continues, you can have the judge enforce the custody or even amend the custody in your favor.

This sounds like crazy, tin foil head ****, but it is the game you are playing. This is the stuff that makes judges and lawyers get stiffies in the morning. Protect yourself.
 
green said:
Talk to your lawyer about it. Don't complain to the kids. They are dumb. They will soon be bored of her crap or she will run out of money and they will respect/love you even more because you were the decent one through it all. Kids aren't dumb. They quickly pick up on one parent being a dick.
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She married my neighbor. Trust me, she won't ever run out of money unless he gets sick of her act. My wife and kids have a lot nicer lifestyle than I do, but I still have to pay a large amount of child support every month.

Regarding talking to the lawyer, he knows the general situation (not this specific instance, but these sorts of things have been happening ever since I discovered the affair). He doesn't feel like there is a case worth pursuing. He says that we would most likely spend a lot of money, the judge would tell her not to behave the way she is, and then her behavior may or may not change but there would be little I could actually do about it. There are no damages to be recovered.
 
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