Wife cheated on me... again

[Boris]

babe clearly don't know what schizophrenia is. Not a single schizoid symptom mentioned in this thread.

It look bipolar not schizophrenia. I have several friends both man and woman who have gone through adultry based on OP desripts.

I feel very sorry for ppl in these situations. Both the partner and the cheater. How can I judge someone with an mental issue I can not relate to?

 

[fishonjazz]

Actually, I've got ideological/theological blinders on which prevent me from seeing the evil? and somehow I'm deluded by this euphoric unconditional love?.. . . . .

all I know is what God sees, maybe?.

The Bible does say some stuff about charity for others in their difficulties, and how God hates divorce but allows it because of unrepentant people with hard hearts and insufficient wisdom or patience with another, whether justified by wrongs or not.

Jesus died in great agony, reportedly, taking on himself our sins if we will turn to Him, and that is a great futures contract for people who might not turn for some time.

I have had cause to observe that a man who really wants a marriage kinda has to expect to endure some agony himself. Sooner or later. But in the event that that endurance produces a desired outcome, I think it can be worth it all.

Short-termers will move through several marriages, every switch for damn good reasons, and still end up not understanding the worth of a human soul in the eyes of God, and will probably never develop that capacity to do for others when others need it.

might seem kinda glib, but so does the "move on" advice I'm seeing here. I can't make this decision for anyone. I had two marriages go down myself, and looking back both of those women would have been worth it, and I'd have done a few things differently if I'd understood what I'm saying now. yah, one has been married twenty years to her number three. She came back to me after her number two went down, and after she remarried and found her husband had cancer. I refused her, saying she needed to stop bouncing around between men. She bawled, and said she was going to pray for her husband who had cancer in hopes God would do a miracle for him just like He did for me. That husband is still alive, and with her. Yah, really, she was way different from me, and another race and culture and all that. But she had real love, and her problem was she lost faith in LDS religion and went looking for something better, and didn't come back to it until after she talked to me that last time.

Tldr

 

[fishonjazz]

I feel for you man. I hate to reduce your problem to a stereotype but this has to be the 9th or 10th time in my life that I've heard this story. Got married young, had a couple of kids, one of the spouses goes back to school and ends up having an affair. Same exact thing happened to my brother-in-law. I think the problem stems from the fact that when you're an adult back in school you're surrounded by people with less responsibilities than you - it's only natural that you start to feel like you missed out on some stuff and it morphs into a reckless or destructive act.

I definitely don't claim to be an expert on these matters but I think at the very least a trial separation is in order. With children so young it's inevitable that your lives will still be intertwined. Maybe that extra breathing room can help you determine if this was meant to be. Good luck!

Good stuff

 

[green]

Stop. Sewing of wild oats has nothing to do with it.
Nor does Mormonism.
Better guess is she's an entirely selfish narcissistic fiend.

This. It sucks, but it's time to move on. Both of you, and your children, will be better because of it.

 

[DarkMount]

It look bipolar not schizophrenia. I have several friends both man and woman who have gone through adultry based on OP desripts.

I feel very sorry for ppl in these situations. Both the partner and the cheater. How can I judge someone with an mental issue I can not relate to?

Wow, This thread has gotten way more attention than I ever expected.

But her mom was bipolar and partial responsible for her death. Mixed wrong meds and bad things happened.

Poor Alexander Hamilton.

But the duel parent seems oddly appropriate.

Sent from my Nexus 5 using JazzFanz mobile app

 

[Saint Cy of JFC]

Wow, This thread has gotten way more attention than I ever expected.

But her mom was bipolar and partial responsible for her death. Mixed wrong meds and bad things happened.





Sent from my Nexus 5 using JazzFanz mobile app

Its the off season

Sent from my A0001 using Tapatalk

 

[green]

I'd also advise to lawyer up. Protect yourself. You are going to be left with alimony and child support and that could be thousands month. Plus, you could lose the house, kids, etc.

There are feelings involved and that makes it tough, but I guarantee she is lawyering up and it's harder from men in this state. Protect yourself. Get a good lawyer, listen to him. Do what he says. Don't do what your bishop or home teachers or neighbors tell you to do.

Protect yourself. The better you protect yourself, the better able you will be to provide for your kids in the future and if needed get custody of them. If you have boys, they will want to live with you at some point. The better you protect yourself now, the better you will be able to get custody of them later.

Don't move out. Don't give her anything. Get a lawyer. She should be the one to leave the house. She cheated. Keep the kids with you. She goes alone.

 

[Gameface]

I'd also advise to lawyer up. Protect yourself. You are going to be left with alimony and child support and that could be thousands month. Plus, you could lose the house, kids, etc.

There are feelings involved and that makes it tough, but I guarantee she is lawyering up and it's harder from men in this state. Protect yourself. Get a good lawyer, listen to him. Do what he says. Don't do what your bishop or home teachers or neighbors tell you to do.

Protect yourself. The better you protect yourself, the better able you will be to provide for your kids in the future and if needed get custody of them. If you have boys, they will want to live with you at some point. The better you protect yourself now, the better you will be able to get custody of them later.

Don't move out. Don't give her anything. Get a lawyer. She should be the one to leave the house. She cheated. Keep the kids with you. She goes alone.

That's something I've always had a hard opinion on. Don't leave the house! Don't do it. It is your house just as much as it is her house. Never act like that isn't the case. Never leave the house.

I've seen way too many men paying for their wife and her new man to live in the house he put his life into.

If she can't live under the same roof at this point she can leave. If she gets abusive, at all, call the police. Way before it gets out of control. As soon as she breaks anything, as soon as she gets physical, if she is being verbally abusive, call the police and report her and stick to your guns on domestic violence. So many men are victims of this. You let it go too far or you don't report it and all the sudden you're the abuser. It doesn't matter if you've never even raised your voice to her. You need to make the call first and before anything complicated happens. You're playing from a major disadvantage on domestic violence no matter what, so make the call first and before there is anything at all legitimate she can say about it to make it look like it was you.

 

[Joe Bagadonuts]

I cannot express how painful it is for me to hear the OP advised to lawyer up. That may, unfortunately, be his best option. I have known several people who accomplished divorce without lawyers, though. I envy them. I would say that if you can't come up with an agreement that you can both feel comfortable with (apparently there are websites designed to assist with this) then get yourself a lawyer and recognize that you might be handing them a fair share of the assets you were formerly fighting over. The worst part of the lawyers for me, though, was how much more negative their involvement made my interactions with my ex.

The advice not to move out of your house is good, though.

 

[green]

I cannot express how painful it is for me to hear the OP advised to lawyer up. That may, unfortunately, be his best option. I have known several people who accomplished divorce without lawyers, though. I envy them. I would say that if you can't come up with an agreement that you can both feel comfortable with (apparently there are websites designed to assist with this) then get yourself a lawyer and recognize that you might be handing them a fair share of the assets you were formerly fighting over. The worst part of the lawyers for me, though, was how much more negative their involvement made my interactions with my ex.

The advice not to move out of your house is good, though.

Don't do this. This is exactly the type of advice to ignore. Get a lawyer. You are playing a game you don't know the rules to. Lawyers know the rules. They know how to play the game.

Here's an analogy:

Your wife challenges you to a game of two on two basketball and she has some NBA player as her teammate. The winner gets the kids, the house, alimony, child support. Thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars.

You have the option to chose another NBA player as your teammate.

The advice above is telling you to google how to play basketball and not choose a teammate.

You will lose. And lose big time. Not hiring a lawyer could end up being the worst decision of your life.

Hire a lawyer. A good one. One that only does divorces. Don't move out of the house. Keep the kids. That's the only shot you have.

 

[Joe Bagadonuts]

Don't do this. This is exactly the type of advice to ignore. Get a lawyer. You are playing a game you don't know the rules to. Lawyers know the rules. They know how to play the game.

Here's an analogy:

Your wife challenges you to a game of two on two basketball and she has some NBA player as her teammate. The winner gets the kids, the house, alimony, child support. Thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars.

You have the option to chose another NBA player as your teammate.

The advice above is telling you to google how to play basketball and not choose a teammate.

You will lose. And lose big time. Not hiring a lawyer could end up being the worst decision of your life.

Hire a lawyer. A good one. One that only does divorces. Don't move out of the house. Keep the kids. That's the only shot you have.

Spoken like someone who has no idea what it actually feels like to go through this process. If neither your wife or you get lawyers, and if both of you decide that you are going to do this in the most loving way possible, recognizing that you can give more to each other because you don't have to give it to a lawyer, you could very well be better off (possibly a lot better off) following that course. The two of you have children together. Trust me, you will be a hell of a lot happier if you don't create an adversarial relationship with this woman who you once loved.

 

[Boris]

I cannot express how painful it is for me to hear the OP advised to lawyer up. That may, unfortunately, be his best option. I have known several people who accomplished divorce without lawyers, though. I envy them. I would say that if you can't come up with an agreement that you can both feel comfortable with (apparently there are websites designed to assist with this) then get yourself a lawyer and recognize that you might be handing them a fair share of the assets you were formerly fighting over. The worst part of the lawyers for me, though, was how much more negative their involvement made my interactions with my ex.

The advice not to move out of your house is good, though.

She cheated on him 20 times. Why would u advise this?