Doubt I would have been offended by that either. I agree that my earlier post, while meant to express how children might view cheating parents and how staying together for the sake of the children may not work, was a bit angry and made the conversation about me.
Sorry to hear your story. It's sad. My siblings and I have all had different processing journeys as well.
At first I said, "Well, too bad. We made plans so it's time to go." They started crying and begging. Eventually I realized I did not want to drive four hours with miserable kids who were blaming me for missing their mom's event (it's not their fault that she does this to us) so I said, "can you promise me you'll be ready to go immediately if I come back at 10 pm?" They said yes, so that's what we did. They fell asleep almost immediately once we started driving. We got to our hotel after midnight. Missed some of our plans but still had a great time on our vacation. Next time I pick them up, though, there will be another similar issue. It's practically a guarantee.
It sounds like he was a real jerk. My experiences have often made me wonder how many of these sorts of men just gave up because of all the obstacles put in their way by the system and their ex. From the kids perspective they would come off as a complete loser, but at some point a man simply cannot put up with any more drama. I've been close to my breaking point on several occasions. The only thing that has stopped me from walking away was the realization that I might never be able to recover my relationship with my children. I have no doubt that my ex would love to cause this to happen.
If I did the sorts of things as a father that she does as a mother the system would come down on me so hard. The bias against dads is obscene.
