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Post Moronic Things You've Done to Make Me Feel Better About What I Did

bigb said:
Boy, it took some digging to find this thread.
I literally just walked into the women's restroom at Home Depot. I needed to pee so bad I was about 30 seconds from having it run down my leg and just took a right. Walked in and thought "no urinals? Wierd". Then I realized why there were no urinals. Luckily, it was Home Depot in the middle of the day, so there were no women in there.
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You peed in the sink didn't you?
 
I don't know if I ever posted in this thread or not but I lent someone here at work a few thousand dollars. Sigh. Needless to say, I never saw it again and the guy was subsequently fired after it was discovered that he was borrowing money from 27 different people from around the lot. All in all, I think that dude got over on people for close to 55k. Sigh.
 
Found it. Lol

The **** I somehow pull off. Anyway, I wrote this last night.

I've been moving and getting my house ready the last 3 days. After working on it for hours today, I was about to call it a day... But, being me, I decided to do one last thing and get all the food out of the top shelf in my kitchen cabinet. I was pretty curious and slightly frightened by what could be lurking up there. Since I already moved my chairs, I had to jump onto the countertop so I could reach everything - for better or for worse. After clearing it and finding food that somehow expired before my house was built 5-years-ago (please, judge,) I went to jump down to the kitchen floor. As I went for it, I felt a tug on my behind. Somehow, someway... my belt loop on my pants snagged one of my kitchen cabinet's knobs and the next thing I knew, I was hanging like Peter Pan in a high school play. After a brief suspension in the air, as you might have guessed, the cabinet door gave way and sent me angerly, yet slightly gingerly to the ground. Many curse words were said, both vocally and silently (hey, there were guests/witnesses present.) Add this to the weird list of - that was a one in a million chance to happen in the most unlucky of ways - yet seem to happen to me more often than not. I hope the new homeowner enjoys glued cabinets that resemble a lil more like Humpty Dumpty than anything else. :P
 
I choked a bloke today who had a suspected broken neck, nobody really cared cause he was an arsehole but you know wasnt my finest moment.
 
Not my story. But was with a sister in Flagstaff and neither of us are from there. She was driving and tried to get onto the freeway using the off ramp. Almost **** myself.
 
I dialed into the wrong call number at work, happened to get into an active meeting. There was a heated discussion so in the middle I just joined right in. I ended up dominating the conversation (this is not so weird for me) but everyone else fell silent. They finally asked who I was, I told them, and they told me I was in the wrong meeting. Pretty embarrassing.
 
LogGrad98 said:
I dialed into the wrong call number at work, happened to get into an active meeting. There was a heated discussion so in the middle I just joined right in. I ended up dominating the conversation (this is not so weird for me) but everyone else fell silent. They finally asked who I was, I told them, and they told me I was in the wrong meeting. Pretty embarrassing.
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LOL, that's hilarious.
 
VINYLONE said:
I don't know if I ever posted in this thread or not but I lent someone here at work a few thousand dollars. Sigh. Needless to say, I never saw it again and the guy was subsequently fired after it was discovered that he was borrowing money from 27 different people from around the lot. All in all, I think that dude got over on people for close to 55k. Sigh.
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That's a shame.
 
I found some money - about $17 - in a "secret" pocket of a purse I hadn't used in about four years and I got worried that it was no good because it had expired. I scrutinized both sides of those bills and got really frustrated because I couldn't find the expiration date.

I finally had that "face palm" moment...
 
I ran track in high school-- the 110m and 220m hurdles were my events. One day at practice, after the team had finished with stretching/warm-ups, I went down to the other corner of the field where the starting line is for the 110s and took off my pull-away warm-up pants. About 5 seconds later I heard my coach's voice through his megaphone from the other corner where we had done warm-ups. He yelled my name twice, paused, and then: "Where are your SHORTS?!!" It dawned on me in that moment that things felt a little breezy, and I immediately realized-- along with the entire track team-- that I had failed to put shorts on, and was standing in my tighty-whitey underwear and a hoodie.
 
Troutbum once offered me 100 dollars to sell him jazzhacks.com. Being the moron that I am, I said no - mainly because it was Troutbum. I let that domain name die this week. Should have taken that money and ran.
 
I once drove around with a 'busted' passenger window that wouldn't roll down for 6 months. It was during winter so I didn't care enough to fix it. When warmer weather rolled around I decided it was time to fix the window. Ten minutes into fixing it I realized I had the window lock on and the window was fine the whole time.
 
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