Did you have doubts when you got married?

[Beantown]

Man, Jordan Wynn sucked so bad last night.

I know he was almost as bad as Heaps.

 

[Surely]

I know he was almost as bad as Heaps.

I'm just glad that Chuckie isn't LDS (and going on a mission) so BYU won't have the chance to try to steal him.

As to the marriage question, in my personal experience it depends on how committed you both are to making it work. If one or both of you walk into the marriage with one foot out the door then I wouldn't make any plans for a second honeymoon (with your first wife that is).

 

[Duck Rodgers]

I'm just glad that Chuckie isn't LDS (and going on a mission) so BYU won't have the chance to try to steal him.

As to the marriage question, in my personal experience it depends on how committed you both are to making it work. If one or both of you walk into the marriage with one foot out the door then I wouldn't make any plans for a second honeymoon (with your first wife that is).

Dude, if you want Riley Nelson back, we will be more than happy to exchange him for Brother Turbin.

 

[Duck Rodgers]

What Hobo said.

I recently told my mom I probably won't get married and she probably won't have any grandkids. She got pretty upset.

No worries, somebody will settle for you once all the Japanese girls are off the market. It's the Asian pecking order. Respect it.

 

[Gyp Rosetti]

Thriller, I highly recommend the temple walk marriage proposal btw. Just take her there and lay it on as heavily as possible. Mention eternal marriage at least 50 times and she won't be able to resist.

Resist what?

 

[colton]

When contemplating marriage, should one really consider their race, financial matters, etc?

Yes to both. Couples from similar backgrounds have one less stress in their marriage, and race is certainly a part of an individual's background. I've known several interracial couples that have been happily married, but it's not something you should do without due consideration.

And I think it's well-known that financial issues are one of the leading causes of divorce. You should have similar goals, and financial matters certainly qualify as a goal that should be discussed.

But what if both parties appear to really want to "work things out?" Does "love" really overcome the stress, the differences, and the doubts?

True love, where both individuals put the well-being of the other as their top priority, probably does. But not without planning and commitment.

 

[colton]

For me, marriage looks like bad news. In a general sense, it just seems like a life-ruiner. But if you have lived some life and so has your partner, that erases a lot of the problems.

I actually think the opposite. In my opinion it's easier to merge two individuals into a single marriage if both have been single adults for, say, 4-5 years, than if they have both been single adults for, say 14-15 years. I don't know if there are stats on it, but I'd guess low 20's (done or close to done with college) have a lower rate of divorce than low 30's.

 

[sepanol]

Agreed - although I'll add a guy shouldn't even think about getting married until they're 30.

Your 20's are meant for 3 things:

Finish school
Find some sort of career path where you can make a living
Get an idea of who you are as an adult and what you want out of life.

Anything else is an invitation to unecessary complications in your life.

i agreee about 30

 

[LogGrad98]

To me the perfect progression would be

1. Finish high school (18 y.o.)
2. Travel and have some fun with friends or whatever
3. Go to college - or get a job (~20 y.o.)
4. Finish college and get a job - or get ahead in your job (~22-24 y.o.)
5. Along the way date and figure out what you want in a spouse.
6. Find someone who really matters to you, maybe get engaged, stay that way for a while (~24-28 y.o.)
7. Get married (~25-30+ y.o.)
8. Enjoy being married and getting to know each other for a while (~27-32+ y.o.)
9. Have kids - if you want to (~28-34+ y.o.)

I think #8 is an important step that lots of people who get married young miss out on. I know we did. We got married when I was 21 and my wife was 23. We had our first kid 11 months later. We have made it work, we have been married nearly 20 years. But the first 3 years were VERY hard because we didn't take the time to really get to know each other, and getting married, not to mention having kids, fundamentally changes who you both are.

 

[candrew]

You guys sound like a bunch of liberal weenies. ....

have 1 child..... and then no more after that because you don't want to hog resources or breath up too much precious CO2.

LOL.....huh?

 

[Scat]

Not a question in my mind or butterfly in my stomach the day I said, "I do." We had been only been dating for 3 months (first date on July 2nd, '89) when we decided we would get married after the first of the year. We decided mid-November that we wanted to spend Christmas together and moved the date up to Nov. 30th of 1989. Yes, we were asked more than once if my wife was pregnant, and no, she wasn't.

After 22 years of marriage I have no doubts and no regrets that I made the right decision. I love my wife just as much now as I did the first day I met her. The past 22 years have flown by. Granted, there have been hardships along the way and some rough times (mostly monetary in nature) but through it all we have loved each other and I know I would do it all over again in exactly the same way, no questions asked.

Regarding commonalities between yourself and your spouse, I absolutely believe wholeheartedly that it is critical that you marry someone with the same beliefs & religion as yourself. These may not seem such a big deal when it is between yourself and your spouse but once you introduce kids into the equation all rationality and liberal thinking go out the window. It will be a huge deal.

I've seen several people say that if you aren't nervous or don't question the relationship you are delusional. I tend to think that if you are questioning the relationship there is something not quite right and you should probably not get married.

 

[Surely]

Regarding commonalities between yourself and your spouse, I absolutely believe wholeheartedly that it is critical that you marry someone with the same beliefs & religion as yourself. [/B]

I heard a saying on my mission that has always stuck with me. "It is easier to make a pretty girl Mormon than a Mormon girl pretty." I don't use this saying much around my mom, sister and sister in-laws.