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I'm bloody hammered and thinking of you, Franklin

Franklin, if it's true that you have been jobless for 2 years, don't need money, and sit around all day getting drunk and looking at Jazzfanz all day, then you sir are my new religion.
 
New_Anonymity_Old_Sage said:
On one previous post I outlined why Kicky and Archie should lay down their arms and give each other a big bro hug. I don't want to search for it, but your little feuds just make me all sad inside. Neither of you is going anywhere, right? So, just love one another.

Perhaps Franklin and I can serve as an example to you both.
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Cute, but not gonna happen.
 
TroutBum said:
I went 29 years without passing out. I've seen it all, from live birth, dead bodies, suicides, to the gutting of livestock and big game. Nothing really does anything to me as far as that goes, and I've never even come close to passing out... Until I watched a Dr. cut my wife open and pull a baby out of her belly. I missed the birth of my third child because I was unconscious on the floor in the delivery room. I woke up feeling like a garbage truck just ran over my chest, couldn't feel my arms or legs, and I was 99% sure I was about to dump my pants. I had to physically hold my butt cheeks together to keep from painting the floor a beautiful shade of chocolate.

WORST. EXPERIENCE. EVAR.
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When I was on my mission, my companion and I got really sick at the same time. They called us into the office and then took my comp to the hospital. I didn't let them know how sick I was because I really didn't want to be admitted into a hospital in Honduras. I went out and tried to work with another missionary. About two hours later I was on the side of the road puking my guts out, we went back home. I woke up in the middle of the night about ready to mess myself. I couldn't figure out how to open the door to his bathroom so I just started banging on it and yelling "open the puerta, POR FAVOR!!". Next thing I knew, I was on the floor with messy pants and the other missionary was asking me if I was okay. Archie is right, it was actually relaxing. Then again, maybe it was the fact that I'd just **** myself.
 
catratcho said:
When I was on my mission, my companion and I got really sick at the same time. They called us into the office and then took my comp to the hospital. I didn't let them know how sick I was because I really didn't want to be admitted into a hospital in Honduras. I went out and tried to work with another missionary. About two hours later I was on the side of the road puking my guts out, we went back home. I woke up in the middle of the night about ready to mess myself. I couldn't figure out how to open the door to his bathroom so I just started banging on it and yelling "open the puerta, POR FAVOR!!". Next thing I knew, I was on the floor with messy pants and the other missionary was asking me if I was okay. Archie is right, it was actually relaxing. Then again, maybe it was the fact that I'd just **** myself.
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How often did you get wasted on your mission? I have the exact same story from Cancun. Just saying.
 
jazzman12 said:
Franklin, if it's true that you have been jobless for 2 years, don't need money, and sit around all day getting drunk and looking at Jazzfanz all day, then you sir are my new religion.
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Well, I'm pretty good at poker. It's a cash thing, but it's really boring these days so I don't play much. I give lessons. I require all my little Jassman12ers to erect tiny gold statues of me. And pay a **** load of money.

Worship away.
 
New_Anonymity_Old_Sage said:
Archie, that shiv you are drinking has unknown long-term consequences. Alcohol is pretty well understood. If you support the consumption of one and not the other, then you are standing purely on moral grounds. Just admit that you are following the company line and I'll be happy.
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homerun.jpg
 
Archie Moses said:
People do some pretty weird things when drunk. One more reason I'll never drink (although sometimes I've wished I got **** faced at least once in my life) and I'm glad to say I've never drank. I have some crazy stories I could share about drinking and how they screwed up friends/family but I wont. On a side note, I had a weird experience with drinking about a month ago. I was taking a workout supplement before playing ball (NO Explode) and I hate the way it tastes, so I drank it as fast as I could. I hadn't eaten anything all day long and drinking it fast was not a good idea. I swear it felt like it tore a hole in my lower throat or upper stomach area. It was pretty painful to say the least. After finishing my last gulp, I did a circle-dance around my kitchen table holding my chest while trying to deal with the pain. I started getting super light headed and I felt like I was going to throw-up. The thought of drinking some water might help came to mind. I grabbed a glass and filled it with water hoping it would calm me down and suppress the pain --- didn't get what I was expecting ---lights out. The next thing I knew, I awoke underneath my table with wet pants and my wife asking me if I was alright. She said she heard a loud bang while downstairs and when she came upstairs she saw my lying underneath the table out cold for about a minute trying to wake me up. I came to, and to my surprise, passing out was really quite relaxing. However, I did hit the back of my head pretty hard on the fall. So, although I've never passed out by getting drunk, I can say I've passed out by drinking. I know, right? ------- For the win!!!!
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So you pissed yourself?
 
Hey, this thread is basically the birthplace of the Gameface poker league. It's also a thread where Archie said he'd never drink.

Plus, when I read the thread title today it made me think of this

Bloody_Hammer_by_skeats.jpg
 
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