No thread about the Filipowski fiasco?

[str8line]

Eh, he might really be happy, who are any of us to say differently. In the end he has to figure stuff out. And if she is the one, crazy eyes and all, then good for him.

I got married 5 months after returning from my mission. Married like the 3rd person I had ever dated seriously, no experience with nothing except a single year away at college in Phoenix. 21 years old, she was 23, met on our missions. The stuff of fairy tales for the mormon world. We had no ****ing clue who we were or what we really wanted. Now married over 32 years, 4 kids, 2 GKs. I wouldn't change a single thing, except maybe wait a bit longer to have kids (1st kid born 1 month to the day before our first anniversary). Sometimes you don't find yourself as much as make a life for yourself. Actively choosing is better than wandering around and hoping for the best. In the end it is all a series of choices. As long as you recognize that and can accept, live with, and hopefully be happy with, the consequences of your choices, that is all that matters in this life. Not one of my kids went the way we expected or hoped, but they are all well-adjusted, generally happy and self-sufficient adults. That is all we could hope for on that front too.

Hopefully Flip is happy in his situation and can make the best of it, if that is what he chooses. Hell my first big crush was 4 years older than me, when I was 13-15 and I was convinced we would get married. And when I turned 15 we dated for half a year or so, seemed like forever at that age. I thought that was it, we were destined to be together, but she was going away to college, then she went on a mission. So that fell apart then. My 2nd was almost the exact opposite, 3 years younger when I was 17 and she was 14. We were inseparable for 2 years, and she was genuinely who I thought I would marry before I met my current wife. Hell the whole ward thought we were destined to marry. It was actually kind of a big shock for a lot of people that we didn't. But at those ages you have no idea what love is, how it feels, and you fall deep and hard for the ones you love. It doesn't mean it cannot transform into something real and long-lasting. To this day I cannot tell you why I ended up with my current wife, but I am very happy I did. And even then, at 21, I had no clue what love really was or what it took to hold a marriage together. But we learned, and worked at it, and, well, so far, so good.

If something comes out that shows grooming when he was 15 beyond just a couple of young people falling in love, despite the age difference, then that might be different. In the meantime, if he is happy with it, and she is happy with it, that is all that matters and we really can't say **** about it.

That's awesome that you're happy and still together. You're a smart dude so I'm not surprised. With my kids I can't imagine them having children at such a young age. At 21 and 19 they are still pretty much children themselves and haven't even really started their own lives. My wife and I watch the little neighbor kids get married and start popping out children of their own just after high school and a mission and we're like, wtf? They never get the chance to live their own lives. It's pretty ridiculous really.

 

[str8line]

Yeah, not that I dont think grooming is a serious issue, but I just have a hard time believing that a 6'11 20 year old who is already a millionaire is being manipulated. I would imagine Filipowski's entire teenage life he probably had decent success with women. If he wanted to leave his woman, he could probably have his choice of a number of women. He chose. Yeah it's weird, but there is no rule that you arent allowed to date someone you knew before you became legal.

Didn't they go to prom together? Not much time for decent success with women. If one of my high school bro's showed up with a 24-year-old to prom it would have been the talk of the school.

 

[Jazzman12]

My point is, I’ve seen nothing in these posts or online that show grooming other than an angry brother making accusations. Angry people can say all sorts of things to inflict pain that aren’t real or are a stretch even if they come from a place of real pain.

Does that mean grooming? I don’t see the evidence or even any real data points than link together in that direction with so much conflicting info(gossip)?

So, if you know so much and know it’s grooming, please walk me through this, or are you just another one that heard the words grooming and Mormon together in a sentence and said “yep, sounds right”.

Yikes.

I’ve posted more than once in this thread that the fact that the girl is mormon has ZERO to do with what’s concerning about this story and I find it incredibly ironic that you keep pointing out how we don’t know all the facts and shouldn’t be jumping to conclusions yet you’re coming at me assuming I have some sort of issue with her religious affiliation when I certainly don’t. Try to wrap your mind around the concept that one can believe this lady sexually groomed an underage Filipowski while not giving a damn about her religious preference's.

Aside from that, I found your grooming quote very telling, not at all surprising, and a good example as to why you and I should never attempt to spend any time together. Please don’t take offense to that, I’m sure you’d be just as miserable sharing space as I would be.

 

[cctrackstar]

Eh, he might really be happy, who are any of us to say differently. In the end he has to figure stuff out. And if she is the one, crazy eyes and all, then good for him.

You said a lot of what i think. first of all, she can groom me all she want's, apparently i am attracted to 'crazy eyes'. second, if i had a brother like his, spewing venom, and his mom backed him up, i'd probably disown them as well. third, just because she 'groomed him', that doesn't mean that she doesn't love him. which among you, while dating, didn't say or do things to try and coax your intended love to see things your way, perhaps with flowers, chocolates, dates (going places, not the fruit. well maybe the fruit.) the very act of dating is grooming, the problem comes from the age gap, which if it had started five years later would have meant nothing. Also, i keep thinking about the fact that; while he might have been a teenager, he was still close to seven feet tall, much taller than her, and she might have forgotten about the age gap looking up at the guy.

Did you know that a lot of our current medical knowledge was discovered by nazi psychos? knowing that, will you refuse to go to a doctor? my point (that will be lashed out at) is that maybe she did something wrong by 'grooming' him as a kid. the fact is that he is no longer a kid now, and he says he loves her. he has plenty of money to hire a private detective to out her true intentions and get her arrested, but instead he stands by her and, again, says he loves her. she hasn't said anything because why should she, everybody seems to hate her, but i imagine she loves him too. even if she is a little nuts, she's not going to kill him so as long as they are happy, that's great. they might be one of the very very few nba couples where the husband/player doesn't cheat on his wife on the road.

 

[Hearsky]

You said a lot of what i think. first of all, she can groom me all she want's, apparently i am attracted to 'crazy eyes'. second, if i had a brother like his, spewing venom, and his mom backed him up, i'd probably disown them as well. third, just because she 'groomed him', that doesn't mean that she doesn't love him. which among you, while dating, didn't say or do things to try and coax your intended love to see things your way, perhaps with flowers, chocolates, dates (going places, not the fruit. well maybe the fruit.) the very act of dating is grooming, the problem comes from the age gap, which if it had started five years later would have meant nothing. Also, i keep thinking about the fact that; while he might have been a teenager, he was still close to seven feet tall, much taller than her, and she might have forgotten about the age gap looking up at the guy.

Did you know that a lot of our current medical knowledge was discovered by nazi psychos? knowing that, will you refuse to go to a doctor? my point (that will be lashed out at) is that maybe she did something wrong by 'grooming' him as a kid. the fact is that he is no longer a kid now, and he says he loves her. he has plenty of money to hire a private detective to out her true intentions and get her arrested, but instead he stands by her and, again, says he loves her. she hasn't said anything because why should she, everybody seems to hate her, but imagine she loves him too. even if she is a little nuts, she's not going to kil him so as long as they are happy, that's great. they might be one of the very very few nba couples where the husband/player doesn't cheat on his wife on the road.

Is this a quote from the Warren Jeffs' players handbook?

 

[LogGrad98]

That's awesome that you're happy and still together. You're a smart dude so I'm not surprised. With my kids I can't imagine them having children at such a young age. At 21 and 19 they are still pretty much children themselves and haven't even really started their own lives. My wife and I watch the little neighbor kids get married and start popping out children of their own just after high school and a mission and we're like, wtf? They never get the chance to live their own lives. It's pretty ridiculous really.

Agreed. Having been through it I can definitively say that 21 is way too young to start having kids. I encouraged my daughter and her husband to wait and they didn't have kids until she was 28 and had been married like 5 years. Way better that way. The kid comes into a situation with some stability. But we have seen horror stories of kids getting married too young and falling into really bad situations. My niece for example, married at 19 to returned missionary who was 23 at the time. Immediately got pregnant, then found out he was physically and emotionally abusive. Then spent a hellish 3 years trying to extricate herself from the guy, who sexually assaulted her after the marriage was dissolved and fought her for sole custody of their kid and nearly got it since he was established with a job and she was a lone 20 year old girl with nothing to fall back on except parents. It was a nightmare that could have been avoided if they had dated for even a single year longer than they did, which was on the order of a few months maybe. The mormon edict to marry as fast as possible and start popping out babies is truly harmful in many cases. As is, in my opinion, the push for extreme chastity, and other such proscriptions, which leads to unrealistic expectations in the relationship and a lack of perspective when it comes to a partner. Just another way religion messes up our society really.

 

[cctrackstar]

Is this a quote from the Warren Jeffs' players handbook?

confusing the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints with the FLDS is like confusing the catholics for every single protestant church that exists. they split off over a century ago. But you were probably talking about the whole 'marry kids' thing. i had a look at the minimum marriage age with consent nation wide, and there are a lot of different ages, all the way from eighteen to NO LIMIT believe it or not, as long as parents consent to it, so apparently not everyone cares as much as you do.
Marriage age in America

 

[tksavis]

Eh, he might really be happy, who are any of us to say differently. In the end he has to figure stuff out. And if she is the one, crazy eyes and all, then good for him.

I got married 5 months after returning from my mission. Married like the 3rd person I had ever dated seriously, no experience with nothing except a single year away at college in Phoenix. 21 years old, she was 23, met on our missions. The stuff of fairy tales for the mormon world. We had no ****ing clue who we were or what we really wanted. Now married over 32 years, 4 kids, 2 GKs. I wouldn't change a single thing, except maybe wait a bit longer to have kids (1st kid born 1 month to the day before our first anniversary). Sometimes you don't find yourself as much as make a life for yourself. Actively choosing is better than wandering around and hoping for the best. In the end it is all a series of choices. As long as you recognize that and can accept, live with, and hopefully be happy with, the consequences of your choices, that is all that matters in this life. Not one of my kids went the way we expected or hoped, but they are all well-adjusted, generally happy and self-sufficient adults. That is all we could hope for on that front too.

Hopefully Flip is happy in his situation and can make the best of it, if that is what he chooses. Hell my first big crush was 4 years older than me, when I was 13-15 and I was convinced we would get married. And when I turned 15 we dated for half a year or so, seemed like forever at that age. I thought that was it, we were destined to be together, but she was going away to college, then she went on a mission. So that fell apart then. My 2nd was almost the exact opposite, 3 years younger when I was 17 and she was 14. We were inseparable for 2 years, and she was genuinely who I thought I would marry before I met my current wife. Hell the whole ward thought we were destined to marry. It was actually kind of a big shock for a lot of people that we didn't. But at those ages you have no idea what love is, how it feels, and you fall deep and hard for the ones you love. It doesn't mean it cannot transform into something real and long-lasting. To this day I cannot tell you why I ended up with my current wife, but I am very happy I did. And even then, at 21, I had no clue what love really was or what it took to hold a marriage together. But we learned, and worked at it, and, well, so far, so good.

If something comes out that shows grooming when he was 15 beyond just a couple of young people falling in love, despite the age difference, then that might be different. In the meantime, if he is happy with it, and she is happy with it, that is all that matters and we really can't say **** about it.

Really love this comment and have to say it's shocking to see some actual real-live grace and wisdom on this board.

 

[Jazz Spazz]

I’ve posted more than once in this thread that the fact that the girl is mormon has ZERO to do with what’s concerning about this story and I find it incredibly ironic that you keep pointing out how we don’t know all the facts and shouldn’t be jumping to conclusions yet you’re coming at me assuming I have some sort of issue with her religious affiliation when I certainly don’t. Try to wrap your mind around the concept that one can believe this lady sexually groomed an underage Filipowski while not giving a damn about her religious preference's.

Aside from that, I found your grooming quote very telling, not at all surprising, and a good example as to why you and I should never attempt to spend any time together. Please don’t take offense to that, I’m sure you’d be just as miserable sharing space as I would be.

First of all, you made assumptions toward me so I made them back. Fun, isn’t it.

My grooming quote? lol. I’m saying we don’t have enough info and you are providing nothing but speculation. Your assumptions are tremendous. I don’t know if grooming did or didn’t happen, but I refuse to speculate.

Try to wrap your head around that you are purely speculating, until you actually explain or provide something more than “I think it could have happened, so it probably did because I’m smart”, I’m not biting. Please understand, it may be hard… I’m not saying it did, I’m not saying it didn’t.

Yes, you are right, I would tire quickly sharing a room with you if you were assuming things about me or jumping to conclusions. It’s irritating innit.

 

[str8line]

How is it obvious? How about you post why you think it’s obvious. I’m clearly not trolling the same waters you are.

I'll speculate then. The only trolling going on was vageen trolling that top 5 national high school player and the millions that come with it. Just my speculation though.

 

[cctrackstar]

just listened to his introductory press conference. he doesn't sound like someone who could be 'groomed'. i'm done. she's hot and looks really fun and friendly. i will watch casually and see if it all works out.

 

[Jazzman12]

First of all, you made assumptions toward me so I made them back. Fun, isn’t it.

My grooming quote? lol. I’m saying we don’t have enough info and you are providing nothing but speculation. Your assumptions are tremendous. I don’t know if grooming did or didn’t happen, but I refuse to speculate.

Try to wrap your head around that you are purely speculating, until you actually explain or provide something more than “I think it could have happened, so it probably did because I’m smart”, I’m not biting. Please understand, it may be hard… I’m not saying it did, I’m not saying it didn’t.

Yes, you are right, I would tire quickly sharing a room with you if you were assuming things about me or jumping to conclusions. It’s irritating innit.

What did I assume about you before you came at me with your assumptions? Just curious.

I found your quote about grooming to be cringeworthy. It’s certainly just my opinion- and it’s an opinion that I’m happy to standby but at the end of the day, it’s nothing more than that.

I’m not surprised, but I also see you sidestepping the fact that I have stated more than once that my opinion on this girl has zero to do with the fact that she’s mormon. I find it pretty hard to believe that a babysitter and her love interest magically became romantically involved once he turned 18. Not that I can or even should do anything about it, but I think the idea of a 25 year old woman entering into a relationship with a 16-17 year old kid whom she has known for several years prior is extremely not ok and IF that is what is happened here, I find it to be rather grotesque. As I’ve stated here already, an 8 year difference in age is not a bad thing most of the time, but I’m of the firm opinion that if one of them is a minor, it’s flat out wrong for quite a few reasons. If that’s something that we disagree on, I wouldn’t necessarily be surprised and I’d be just fine disagreeing with you and moving on.

If you’d like to continue the discussion, please drop the mormon angle. It’s not an issue I’ve had with the girl, I think it has zero to do with the question of whether she’s a predator or not, and I don’t think it’s fair to infer that his family or anybody else has a problem with this relationship because she’s LDS.