Fair enough. I know that my way is not the only way. I also suspect that with as hard as I push my son that at some point he will rebel and resent me, but I’ll be okay with it. Even if he ends up hating me, if I can see that he ended up a strong and capable adult then that is all I want. I will have picked up the heaviest burden I could manage and carried it successfully. If he falls short then I’ll know it is on me.For me, the most important part was to set the good example. When our kids see us being kind, understanding, self-sacrificing, disciplined, etc., they will learn that from us more surely that any amount of artificial goal-setting can manage. The best way to improve our kids behavior is to improve our behavior, at least with my kids. .... Since every child is different, I don't think there is a wrong or right way in general to motivate them in general.
Good luck with your kids One Brow. Being a good Dad isn’t easy and the best we can do is all we can do.