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A Joke a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

Surely said:
Blonde Joke

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight From LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun.
He explains “I ask you a question and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5 and vice—versa”.
Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now somewhat agitated says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don’t know the answer I will pay you $50”, figuring since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match.
This catches the blonde’s attention and figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon”?
The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
Now it’s the blonde’s turn. She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four”? The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the library of Congress. Frustrated he sends an e—mail to all of his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour he wakes the blonde and hands her $50.
The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer who is more than miffed wakes the blonde and asks, “well, so WHAT is the answer”?
Without a word the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.
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I've been laughing about this joke for about ten minutes now. I think it might be the funniest joke in the history of jokes.
 
Gameface said:
I'll try harder next time.
Click to expand...
How about this. The lawyer asked the blonde, "How many trolls are there on Jazzfanz?" Silently she reaches into her purse and hands him $5 bucks. Then she asks, "Does it ever do any good to engage a troll?" She smiles as she puts her hand on the lawyer's leg, then she blows him a little kiss as she slides her fingers into his pocket and takes out his wallet. She removes $50 to save him the trouble, then turns back to the window and goes to sleep.
 
A couple ropes walk into a bar. The bartender tells them to get out, they don't serve ropes like them at this bar.

Outside one of the ropes ties himself up and works his ends loose. Then he goes back inside.

The bartender says "hey, aren't you one of those ropes I just kicked out of here?" And the rope tells him "no, I'm a frayed knot"
 
I used to collect bottle caps when I was a kid. I collected over five thousand of them before I realized my father was an alcoholic.
 
A young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a small house. Knocking on the door, he was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, gray beard.

"I’m lost," said the young man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"OK," said the young man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man, as she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man’s warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during the night he could bear it no longer, and snuck into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear, and near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.

The young man woke up the next morning feeling a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes, he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."

"Well, that’s pretty stupid," he thought. "If that’s the best the old man can do, then I don’t have much to worry about."

He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window, and threw the boulder out. As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read "Chinese Torture 2: Left nut tied to rock."

In a panic he glanced down and saw that the line was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward, he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right nut tied to bedpost."
 
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