Post Moronic Things You've Done to Make Me Feel Better About What I Did

[Archie Moses]

What was your job at the time?

It's still my current job. I go to high schools for my job and do stuff.

 

[bigb]

Did you died?

I was only mostly dead.

 

[TroutBum]

True story.

I was in a high school (for my job) and I was presenting to a class. For whatever reason the kids started talking about the grossest things they've ever eaten in their life. One kid said, "I ate a cricket." I said, "Mmm protein." Then I remembered about the guy who won the bug eating contest last year. If you don't know what I'm talking about, some guy won a **** roach eating contest and a few hours later died from eating them. Being the bright guy that I am (in front of the teacher, a student teacher, and a class of about 35 high school kids) I was going to share that story with them. The only problem is I had a little slippage of tongue. I said, "Hey, did you guys hear about the guy who won the **** eating contest?" The entire class and the teachers laughed for like 5 minutes. I laughed too. There was nothing I could do to take it back so I just owned it and said, "Yeah, I just said that. What I meant to say was...."

It was really awkward, but I got invited to go back.

hehepeepeecaca

I bet you were pissed that someone dethroned you at the contest -- you know, since you've been the defending champion for eight years strai... er, in a row.

 

[franklin]

I errant drunk texted my brother's wife about how (s)he wanted all 30 inches of my [shotgun] barrel. I got the Mormon girl version of wtf back and immediately called my brother to apologize profusely about the mishap.

 

[NAOS]

lol

 

[GVC]

I errant drunk texted my brother's wife about how (s)he wanted all 30 inches of my [shotgun] barrel. I got the Mormon girl version of wtf back and immediately called my brother to apologize profusely about the mishap.

Can I come live in your basement?

 

[franklin]

Can I come live in your basement?

WTF?

 

[GVC]

WTF?

My life's not working for me. All I really want to do is smoke weed, play board games, watch basketball and play with myself. Unfortunately, none of that **** pays the bills. I need a sponsor.

 

[Farmer.Tan]

Really dont need someone braking down every single spelling and grammar error I make.

*meak

 

[freakazoid]

My life's not working for me. All I really want to do is smoke weed, play board games, watch basketball and play with myself. Unfortunately, none of that **** pays the bills. I need a sponsor.

Or a rich fat chick/geezer chick.

 

[franklin]

My life's not working for me. All I really want to do is smoke weed, play board games, watch basketball and play with myself. Unfortunately, none of that **** pays the bills. I need a sponsor.

I don't have a basement but you're welcome to my trailer. You're responsible for propane for heat, mowing the lawn and shoveling snow, and babysitting for 4 hours every Wednesday. You cannot smoke in the yard but the train tracks are close enough to take a walk, and church is at 11. When do we start?

 

[TroutBum]

I don't have a basement but you're welcome to my trailer. You're responsible for propane for heat, mowing the lawn and shoveling snow, and babysitting for 4 hours every Wednesday. You cannot smoke in the yard but the train tracks are close enough to take a walk, and church is at 11. When do we start?

Screw that. Brother Camp, you can come live down here. We have no snow to shovel, the HOA mows the grass, and you can smoke on the lot across the street that has easily the best view in the valley.