Rules, tips and facts for eating in a restaurant
1. Eat your food and get the **** out. If you are sitting around well after your meal you had better tip double or triple because if you're sitting there your server is existing not making any money on the next table. Don't be a dick.
2. If its really busy understand that your server might not be able to tickle your taint immediately. Have some patience for gods sake. If its slow, expect your beverage to be full and your plates to be cleared quickly.
3. If you make a ton of changes to your order and make the meal on the menu into something completely different expect it to get screwed up. The person cooking your food is going to be a moron. Make his life as easy as possible
4. If you're server is great tip them well and they'll take care of you in return. Free drinks and desserts etc ....
5. Women suck at tipping, large families ALMOST always suck at tipping, mormons generally suck at tipping, old people suck at tipping. If you fit in any of these demos expect to get **** service and blame your group as a whole and not the server.
I've got more. Maybe someday I'll enlighten you.
Somehow after reading this I feel more confident in my assertion that tipping as a salary is a sucky concept. Especially after #1. The only way turnover of tables should be an issue is if the restaurant is crowded.