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How many times do you wipe?

ShaggyReAL said:
I'd have sex with Hitler,Obama and Hank Williams Jr at the same time before giving up my Huggies Natural Care wipes with Aloe & Vitamin E , Fragrance Free and hypoallergenic.

https://huggies.com

upc code: 036000 16367
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So assuming you use 3 on average to clean up, then this can cost nearly 10 cents per wipe. As opposed to TP at about .8 cents per wipe (not 80 cents, or 8 cents, but 0.8 cents or $0.008). Simple math for me. I ain't wipin my *** with a dime every time.
 
All the talk of methods, no solutions.

First of all, the way you wipe has a lot to do with what comes out, which has a lot to do with what goes in.

I used to be a catcher's mitt guy and the Amazon would cry when I did my business. But the major reason for this is what came out required a little extra cleanliness so I could stay as close to godliness as I'm accustomed. I was also practicing this ritual a little too frequently. Like the OP, I had my 40 Days In The Desert moment trying to find enlightenment to this problem.

Then I found my new religion: I dropped coffee. I switched to green tea, several pots a day (everyone should do this, but I digress.) I also eat a yogurt every single day. I now get my business done once a day tops, and I occasionally go two days. Not only that, but you could put my ****s in a museum. When that happens, 3 wipes is almost pointless which is the nirvana I now live in. No lie, I go through 1 roll a week. I'm saving up to buy Paul Allen's yacht.
 
I eat a yogurt and it's guaranteed to be a 2-3 visit day. That's with only one yogurt.
 
billyshelby said:
All the talk of methods, no solutions.

First of all, the way you wipe has a lot to do with what comes out, which has a lot to do with what goes in.

I used to be a catcher's mitt guy and the Amazon would cry when I did my business. But the major reason for this is what came out required a little extra cleanliness so I could stay as close to godliness as I'm accustomed. I was also practicing this ritual a little too frequently. Like the OP, I had my 40 Days In The Desert moment trying to find enlightenment to this problem.

Then I found my new religion: I dropped coffee. I switched to green tea, several pots a day (everyone should do this, but I digress.) I also eat a yogurt every single day. I now get my business done once a day tops, and I occasionally go two days. Not only that, but you could put my ****s in a museum. When that happens, 3 wipes is almost pointless which is the nirvana I now live in. No lie, I go through 1 roll a week. I'm saving up to buy Paul Allen's yacht.
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I don't do coffee, or green tea. But I've been in the desert for more than forty days. Once upon a time I nearly died, lots of things didn't work at all. Then I ate some roasted, salted sunflower seeds, and things started moving again. Something about some chemical affecting my biochemistry and the need to replenish some polyunsaturated fatty acids which happen to be mediators within cellular membranes for all kinds of regulatory biochemistry.

Yogurt is a good thing for helping digestion to proceed favorably, but some people are or become milk-sensitive and it just gives them the runs. Lots of fiber, fruit, and ordinary food will do anyone the good they need. The more bulk in it, the regular you'll be.

I buy the cheapest toilet paper I can find. If I'm in the desert I look for a nice smooth rock big enough to do the job without smudging my fingers. Helps keep you regular if you don't eat your poop. E Coli and all. I also bury the excrement a few inches deep. No sense feeding the coyotes.
 
The live cultures in yogurt can't be overstated. For the lactose intolerant, I recommend raw milk. I'm a dairy snob and I buy raw milk and artisanal yogurt at my farmer's market every week. Incidentally, people who think they're lactose intolerant would find they can digest raw milk just fine. The benefits of raw milk would take too long to explain. Look it up.

I could go on a Green Tea rant, too, but I'll skip it for now. Green Tea is the greatest advice you will ever get, and this isn't some hippie ****. Just get an iron teapot. Get some organic green tea. Drink a gallon of it a day for a week. And see what happens.
 
I love milk but as I get older I find that it doesn't agree with me. The pasteurization process kills the enzyme that allows you do successfully digest lactose. Enter raw milk. I started drinking it a couple of months ago and I can drink half a gallon of the stuff with no ill effects. I love it!
 
Isn't it true that it's illegal to sell raw milk now? You have to have your own cow, and even that privilege is under attack from the all-wise regulators of all mankind.

I grew up on Zook's milk---that's the name of our cow. Milked her, hauled the bucket to the kitchen and strained out the green stuff, and drank it warm. I eat tons of yogurt, and drink milk like water. But Code Enforcement would probably find out pretty quick if I kept a cow in my backyard in town.
 
babe said:
Isn't it true that it's illegal to sell raw milk now?
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It is heavily regulated but it is legal here in Utah. There is a farm down by St. George, Redmond Farms, that provides raw milk from grass fed cows. No grains, hormones or antibiotics. I've only found it available at one store so far. Real Foods. They have stores in Orem, St. George & Heber. It's also pricey, 6.50 a gallon but it is so damn good.
 
You can get raw milk in Reno, but again, incredibly expensive. And in Nevada you have to basically adopt a cow to get raw milk, so it shows you are part-owner of the cow. You actually buy cow shares just like stock and then you can buy the milk, so it increases the cost. I have thought about this because we have 3 people in our family who are severely lactose intolerant, and I have IBS with a vengeance, but we just cannot justify a 4-6 dollar premium per gallon.
 
LogGrad98 said:
So assuming you use 3 on average to clean up, then this can cost nearly 10 cents per wipe. As opposed to TP at about .8 cents per wipe (not 80 cents, or 8 cents, but 0.8 cents or $0.008). Simple math for me. I ain't wipin my *** with a dime every time.
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1 wet wipe per deuce. Wipe-fold-wipe-fold-wipe-flush! On bad days you gotta use two.
 
Hair makes it increasing harder to clean. It's like trying to get to the center of a lolly-pop with the wrapper still on.
 
This is going to sound weird, but if you stand on your toilet and squat over the hole, the process is actually much healthier and cleaner. Meaning a cleaner colon and less wiping.
 
It is less expensive and easier to clean and maintain.[2]
It does not involve any contact between the buttocks and thighs with a potentially unsanitary surface.[3]
Squatting might help to build the required exhaust pressure more comfortably and quickly.[4]
Squatting makes elimination faster, easier and more complete.[5]
Elimination in squatting posture protects the nerves that control the prostate, bladder and uterus from becoming stretched and damaged.[6][unreliable source?]
Squatting relaxes the puborectalis muscle which normally chokes the ****** in order to maintain continence.[7]
Squatting securely seals the ileocecal valve, between the colon and the small intestine. In the conventional sitting position, this valve is unsupported and often leaks during evacuation.[8]
For pregnant women, squatting avoids pressure on the uterus when using the toilet. Daily squatting helps prepare the mother-to-be for a more natural delivery.[9]
Squatting may reduce the occurrence or severity of hemorrhoids[1][10] and possibly other colorectal disorders such as diverticulosis[11] and appendicitis.[12]

From Wikipedia
 
Cyrone Torbin said:
It is less expensive and easier to clean and maintain.[2]
It does not involve any contact between the buttocks and thighs with a potentially unsanitary surface.[3]
Squatting might help to build the required exhaust pressure more comfortably and quickly.[4]
Squatting makes elimination faster, easier and more complete.[5]
Elimination in squatting posture protects the nerves that control the prostate, bladder and uterus from becoming stretched and damaged.[6][unreliable source?]
Squatting relaxes the puborectalis muscle which normally chokes the ****** in order to maintain continence.[7]
Squatting securely seals the ileocecal valve, between the colon and the small intestine. In the conventional sitting position, this valve is unsupported and often leaks during evacuation.[8]
For pregnant women, squatting avoids pressure on the uterus when using the toilet. Daily squatting helps prepare the mother-to-be for a more natural delivery.[9]
Squatting may reduce the occurrence or severity of hemorrhoids[1][10] and possibly other colorectal disorders such as diverticulosis[11] and appendicitis.[12]

From Wikipedia
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Link d00d! Liiiiink! I gots tuh read this!!
 
Cyrone Torbin said:
This is going to sound weird, but if you stand on your toilet and squat over the hole, the process is actually much healthier and cleaner. Meaning a cleaner colon and less wiping.
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Unless you miss, then you're going to spend a lot of time wiping the floor, the outside of the toilet, and probably your feet.
 
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