basses
Post Moronic Things You've Done to Make Me Feel Better About What I Did
- Thread starter Archie Moses
- Start date
basses
Have the local Rocky Mountain Horror Picture Show bois quit insisting on helping you out of the closet yet?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLpfbcXTeo8&ob=av2e
Please tell me what is not taken WAY too far in this place.
Please tell me what is not taken WAY too far in this place.
Good point.
Hantlers
Well-Known Member
That reminds me, my uncle walked up to this obviously anorexic guy and asked how his cancer treatment was going. I didn't know whether to laugh or just walk away from the situation.
I was getting day drunk in Cancun, 19 years old. There was this cougar playing 32 but full of it--35 minimum. So I grab a sugar filled/taste bud killing strawberry daquiri like a 19 year old would and head on over to cat town with my best opening line. With probably 20+ Days of Our Lives Canadian Style hotel friends staring, I pull the old "So, are you a mother and daughter combo" line.
The sad thing is my 5 minute apology did nothing to reverse the $4000 trip I had just ruined for the older looking one.
The sad thing is my 5 minute apology did nothing to reverse the $4000 trip I had just ruined for the older looking one.
UGLI baby
Well-Known Member
I'm quite enjoying these little strolls down mammary lane.
How did this bump not get more attention? This is one of the best GD threads of the past year.
D
Deleted member 848
Guest
Whenever I'm having a bad day, thinking about this thread always makes me feel better. Thanks, ArchiMo
unluckyseventeen
Well-Known Member
Damn, I don't really have any crazy or terribly interesting stories. I have some stories that just plain sucked though, if this thread is about feeling better about yourself. Strangely, after thinking of these, most of them involve the bathroom in some sort...
When I was probably 15, I went tube fishing with my step dad and step brother, and those of you that have ever tube fished know that getting in and out of the water takes a lot of time. So I'm out on the water, and the wind picks up. Suddenly, I have to pee really bad and am in waders. I struggle to try to get back to shore, without jostling myself too much. Needless to say, I ran out of time and peed my pants. The piss had nowhere to go because I was in waders (water tight), so I sat in my own piss for about 3 more hours out on the lake, pretending as if nothing happened. I smelled like piss when I took the waders off and had to use the campfire to dry myself off, and then force everybody to smell piss for the rest of the night in the tent. That was awkward.
When I was 17 I took the ACTs. Years prior I took a lot of anti-biotics to help control my awkward teenage acne, which to this day still cause me problems. Needless to say, my stomach is very fragile and I have a long list of foods I can't eat without almost ****ting myself shortly afterward. So, there I am, taking the ACTs. I have the most wicked of wicked stomache-aches, and during the break between test sections I take the biggest wicked, loud dump ever amongst a group of probably 10-15 other guys using the bathroom or filing in and out. I show up to the next segment of the test about 15 minutes late and fail miserably.
When I was 18, I went with my then girlfriend and her family to a pretty sweet condo in the southern california desert. I had never met them before and they were both pretty rich/pompous/proper people. We sat down to watch a movie, and the surround sound was turned up really loud. Once the movie audio started playing (or music during the studio credits) it blared out really loud sound and her dad about jumped out of his chair from being startled by the loud noise. I laughed really hard, and laughed for a long time, completely interrupting the movie for about the next 10 minutes. It made me laugh so much, I had to poo. So I went to the bathroom, sat on the toilet and laughed to myself for about another 20 minutes, just recollecting about how funny it was to see this rich old guy get scared ****less. It was awkward trying to explain what was going on in the bathroom for that long, as I sort of lost track of time and I'm sure they could hear me roaring with laughter from the other side of the bathroom door. The girl wound up being a 100% crazy bitch, though, so I'm glad I at least got some enjoyment out of that utter waste of time.
When I was probably 22, I was at a gym shooting hoops by myself. Getting confident and stuff, I run down the floor, pull up for a 15 foot jumper and for some reason my feet never corrected themselves in order to land safely, so I landed right on the side of my ankle and faceplanted straight into the floor. A couple dudes were at the door watching and talking amongst another, so I looked like a total dumbass.. injuring myself when nobody else is even on the court. Then I have to painfully act as if everything is all good and run back down the floor on a badly sprained ankle.
There, feel better about yourselves and stuff!
When I was probably 15, I went tube fishing with my step dad and step brother, and those of you that have ever tube fished know that getting in and out of the water takes a lot of time. So I'm out on the water, and the wind picks up. Suddenly, I have to pee really bad and am in waders. I struggle to try to get back to shore, without jostling myself too much. Needless to say, I ran out of time and peed my pants. The piss had nowhere to go because I was in waders (water tight), so I sat in my own piss for about 3 more hours out on the lake, pretending as if nothing happened. I smelled like piss when I took the waders off and had to use the campfire to dry myself off, and then force everybody to smell piss for the rest of the night in the tent. That was awkward.
When I was 17 I took the ACTs. Years prior I took a lot of anti-biotics to help control my awkward teenage acne, which to this day still cause me problems. Needless to say, my stomach is very fragile and I have a long list of foods I can't eat without almost ****ting myself shortly afterward. So, there I am, taking the ACTs. I have the most wicked of wicked stomache-aches, and during the break between test sections I take the biggest wicked, loud dump ever amongst a group of probably 10-15 other guys using the bathroom or filing in and out. I show up to the next segment of the test about 15 minutes late and fail miserably.
When I was 18, I went with my then girlfriend and her family to a pretty sweet condo in the southern california desert. I had never met them before and they were both pretty rich/pompous/proper people. We sat down to watch a movie, and the surround sound was turned up really loud. Once the movie audio started playing (or music during the studio credits) it blared out really loud sound and her dad about jumped out of his chair from being startled by the loud noise. I laughed really hard, and laughed for a long time, completely interrupting the movie for about the next 10 minutes. It made me laugh so much, I had to poo. So I went to the bathroom, sat on the toilet and laughed to myself for about another 20 minutes, just recollecting about how funny it was to see this rich old guy get scared ****less. It was awkward trying to explain what was going on in the bathroom for that long, as I sort of lost track of time and I'm sure they could hear me roaring with laughter from the other side of the bathroom door. The girl wound up being a 100% crazy bitch, though, so I'm glad I at least got some enjoyment out of that utter waste of time.
When I was probably 22, I was at a gym shooting hoops by myself. Getting confident and stuff, I run down the floor, pull up for a 15 foot jumper and for some reason my feet never corrected themselves in order to land safely, so I landed right on the side of my ankle and faceplanted straight into the floor. A couple dudes were at the door watching and talking amongst another, so I looked like a total dumbass.. injuring myself when nobody else is even on the court. Then I have to painfully act as if everything is all good and run back down the floor on a badly sprained ankle.
There, feel better about yourselves and stuff!
Hartsock
Banned
On my way to work, I stopped to get gas, I forgot my wallet at home but luckily there was a $20 in the cupholder. I went in and prepaid, my mind started wandering thinking about hot babes or something and I got in the car without filling my car with gas and drove off. I was about 5 miles away before I realized I was stilll out of gas and realized what I had done.