The Honesty of Transgender Identity
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Archie Moses
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What's my double standard?
You expect that all transgendered people should immediately identify themselves as transgendered before a first date, but the cisgendered only need to so identify if there is a question of some sort.
And this is why I've given up on having meaningful conversations with you.
Archie Moses
Well-Known Member
I don't think that this is unfair nor a double standard.
It's a very small percentage of people who identify as as trans, so to expect cisgender people to identify that not only do they look like the gender they are but they have the biological parts too is unreasonable and probably not needed. I have no problem doing it if I were asked because I want to be on the same page as someone I'm dating. It's just not a dating norm in my experience. I'd be interested in hearing otherwise too.
Breaking down sexuality is more than just being attracted to a certain gender someone identifies with. It also has to do with physical and biological traits, parts, and chemistry. Online dating sites (a lot of them in my experience) asks you to list both your gender and sexual preference so you can match with people with similar expectations.
The trans girl I went on a date with, I met on Tinder. She never communicated to me she was trans prior to meeting and her pictures were 100% doctored/photoshopped to hide her more masculine traits. She looked pretty to me and I asked her to get coffee with me. Granted, I never asked if she was trans, nor have I ever asked that to anyone in the past I've gone on a date with . I have to believe she knew this was a big thing for most people and most people would want to know this before going out. I understand why she hid it from me and it must suck when you tell people you're interested in that your trans and they immediately say no thanks. At the end of the day though, it should be communicated to see if you're on the same page because it is different. Denying that, or turning a blind eye to it is deceptive. Once I brought this up to the girl she initially denied it, got upset and slammed my door. I have to believe she knows it's a big deal and was deceptive about it because of fear of rejection. I would suggest to her to be her and to what someone who accepts her for her. If she tells someone and they're not interested, she should want someone different.
Not to mention the very very real possibility that many men could become violent if they feel they were tricked into intimacy with a trans person. Even just kissing, hugging, holding hands. I think a trans person, for their own safety, should be upfront about it.
Archie Moses
Well-Known Member
It's happened before too, sadly. All I could think of when I picked her up was I'm 99.9% sure she is a trans woman and what to do. I didn't want to offend her and wanted to be as level-headed and understanding as possible, but I still kind of panicked. I'm glad with how I handled it though. Had this been years earlier in my life, I probably would have been a super big jerk and said some unkind things out of frustration. With that said, when I was 21 I was catfished on myspace - it's a long story, but ultimately I found someone who went to school with the girl I was talking to online and they showed me the real picture of her. I called the girl who catfished me and called her out. I remember feeling really bad for her (she was morbidly obese and not the best looking) and understanding of why she did it. I told her she was a really sweet person and had a beautiful personality and it was a shame she had to lie to me and steal someone's pics. I asked her not do it and to try and find someone she could talk to to help her.
I have a lot of really weird dating stories I could write a book about. With my last job, I used to travel to SoCal practically every other week. One time while I was in Irvine, someone sent me a PM on instagram saying they were being catfished by me. Basically, she had been talking to some dude from Canada who said he was a cop and was using my pictures. She found me on tinder (because her friend saw and recognized me) when I was there and knew one of us was lying. She looked up my IG afterward she saw my tinder account and knew that I was the real me because of all of the pics I had. The other guy only had a few of my pics (don't know how he got them to this day) and told her he couldn't put pictures online because of his job. She sent me a PM explaining she fell in love with a guy who catfished her using my pics. She talked to him for 8 or 9 months and almost and hour or more each day. She was absolutely devastated, furious and shocked. I sent a few messages to her basically saying wow and her story was crazy. Then I noticed she was pretty cute and we ended up talking and I asked her out. Basically, the guy who catfished her did all the hard work for me.
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Here's a rational view on the subject:
http://theconversation.com/falsehoods-sandy-hook-and-suing-alex-jones-97056
I should sue you for falsely implying, online, that I said something relevant or supportive of Jones' questions about Sandy Hook being staged and the characters in the drama being "actors". I saw a lot of stuff fer an' agin online back when Sandy Hook was news. I understood Jones' evidence was weak, but I thought it worth looking at for a few minutes. Some folks can discuss stuff they don't know without being malicious, deliberately lying, or hating anyone. A lot of things get suspected of being political "False Flag" events run by psy-op units of guvmint, so I guess in your world nobody gets to talk about any of that.
Transgendered or whatever folks should sue everyone in this thread for questioning or discussing stuff that could hurt their feelings too.
So, you are a bit perturbed that I said something about your enthusiasm for AI technology and the possibilities for the future? You do know people with enough money to access cutting edge medical applications are doing stuff to their bodies, right? So sue me for talking about you. It's a lot more effective than just discussing stuff online when somebody says something wrong.
People like the Sandy Hook parents have gone online to push for political results. Anyone who cares whether their kids are alive can do about three clicks to get enough information to settle the question in their minds about the realities of the case.
It will be interesting to see what happens in court, but I suspect the case will be settled outta court.
Stuff like fb or Google taking actions to limit Jones' access is also going to be interesting, legally. At some point in time, when private online enterprises act arbitrarily or without evidence to suppress free speech, the Courts will make them eat the damages in million-dollar bites.
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MVP
Well-Known Member
No, I did not object that. They can identify as whatever legal gender definition is in their respective country. And you as official worker should fill the paperwork according to the law. Why are you trying to make it so complicated? If O or X is not legal definition than they should identify as F or M.
MVP
Well-Known Member
Not unless university has a law about made up pronouns.
nah, you haven't given up on that. You just gave up on posting your extensive file of actual relevant news CNN does, because it's too much trouble sifting through all the trash to find some that aren't.
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/cnn-and-msnbc-ratings/
some say CNN still ranks above most, as this 2014 graph.... still high in the google search.....
https://www.businessinsider.com/most-and-least-trusted-news-outlets-in-america-2017-3
and oh, wow.... here is a report everyone already knows is true....
https://knightfoundation.org/reports/perceived-accuracy-and-bias-in-the-news-media
Clearly, credulity is a partisan game, but CNN viewership has declined.
https://deadline.com/2018/01/cable-2017-network-ratings-rankings-scorecard-1202235144/
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MVP
Well-Known Member
This map shows countries which officially recognize 3d gender. Blue - Nonbinary / third gender option available as voluntary opt-in Yellow - Opt-in for intersex people only Orange - Mandatory for some born intersex, and opt in Red - Mandatory for some born intersex Grey - Nonbinary / third gender option not legally recognized / no data
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